In a recurring Groundhog Day tribute of their own, the editors of National Review annually post Jonah Goldberg's excellent 2005 paean to the classic Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day. Here are the closing paragraphs of Goldberg's article, A Movie for All Time.

Ultimately, the story is one of redemption, so it should surprise no one that it speaks to those in search of the same. But there is also a secular, even conservative, point to be made here. Connors’s metamorphosis contradicts almost everything postmodernity teaches. He doesn’t find paradise or liberation by becoming more “authentic,” by acting on his whims and urges and listening to his inner voices. That behavior is soul-killing. He does exactly the opposite: He learns to appreciate the crowd, the community, even the bourgeois hicks and their values. He determines to make himself better by reading poetry and the classics and by learning to sculpt ice and make music, and most of all by shedding his ironic detachment from the world.

Harold Ramis and Danny Rubin, the writers of the original story, are not philosophers. Ramis was born Jewish and is now a lackadaisical Buddhist. He wears meditation beads on his wrist, he told the New York Times, “because I’m on a Buddhist diet. They’re supposed to remind me not to eat, but actually just get in the way when I’m cutting my steak.” Rubin’s original script was apparently much more complex and philosophical — it opened in the middle of Connors’s sentence to purgatory and ended with the revelation that Rita was caught in a cycle of her own. Murray wanted the film to be more philosophical (indeed, the film is surely the best sign of his reincarnation as a great actor), but Ramis constantly insisted that the film be funny first and philosophical second.

And this is the film’s true triumph. It is a very, very funny movie, in which all of the themes are invisible to people who just want to have a good time. There’s no violence, no strong language, and the sexual content is about as tame as it gets. (Some e-mailers complained that Connors is only liberated when he has sex with Rita. Not true: They merely fall asleep together.) If this were a French film dealing with the same themes, it would be in black and white, the sex would be constant and depraved, and it would end in cold death. My only criticism is that Andie MacDowell isn’t nearly charming enough to warrant all the fuss (she says a prayer for world peace every time she orders a drink!). And yet for all the opportunities the film presents for self-importance and sentimentality, it almost never falls for either. The best example: When the two lovebirds emerge from the B&B to embrace a happy new life together in what Connors considers a paradisiacal Punxsutawney, Connors declares, “Let’s live here!” They kiss, the music builds, and then in the film’s last line he adds: “We’ll rent to start.”

Read the whole thing.

I think Groundhog Day is one of the best movies ever made. I remember watching it on VHS with my wife, years ago; though it does not have an explicitly Christian message, the movie is brimming with redemption. Watching it for the first time surfaced in me an exquisite sense of joy. (And, in my one beef with Goldberg over this article, I thought Andie MacDowell was plenty charming).

If you haven't already watched Groundhog Day, I highly recommend it. If you have, get with the spirit of things and watch it again (and again, and again, and . . .)

Had this thought while I was running this morning: in my lifetime, the adjective "irreverent" has gone from being a criticism to being a compliment.

C. Michael Patton over at Parchment and Pen posts about his depression, nearly two years later. Below is an excerpt:

Two years later, there are still times when driving down the road, playing a video game with my kids, or drinking a Coke out of a bottle that I notice that recovery is chronic. “Oh, yeah,” I say to myself. “That is what it is like to be notice good things.” During these times I want to call out to God and say, “Time out!” Whatever made me realize again what I took for granted before needs to find its way to the shelves of the store.

Two years later I know there are places I cannot go in my mind. Two years later I look through the peep-hole in the door of my emotions before I let anything in. Two years later I long for a glory that knows no tears in a way I had not longed before. Two years later I am stable but scared. Scared that it might happen again. Two years later, my heart does not know how to respond to others who are groping for hope in a dark mind. I want to grab their depression by the neck and kill it, burn it, smash it, and choke it. I hate it.

Many end these type of messages with the “But I am glad I went through this” type stuff. My sister says that she is glad I went through it. Okay, fine. Gotcha. Neat. But I don’t know if I am. I think I would rather not live with the haunting memory of that time. At least not now. To know that this actually exists in this world . . . Really? That? Torture, hunger, blindness, poverty, even holocaust are things I gawked at before. But depression is from a planet I could not imagine existed. A dark planet. A cold and lonely planet that no telescope can see, no pictures can describe, for which no analogy of being can be found. It only exists in theory before you have been there. But I think I would have rather seen it through the telescope. When I returned from that world, a part of me was left behind. I think I would have rather not had that passport stamped.

But I serve a God who is sovereign and does not have the word “meaningless” in any dictionary signed by him. In this, I suppose, you can pull my teeth until I say “Okay, it was good for me to go there. Better to go to the house of the morning than the house of feasting. Okay. Yeah, okay.” In glory, you will not have to pull my teeth to say this. But for now, you still do.

I encourage you to read the whole thing, and also his original post on the brokenness of depression from April, 2010.

There was a time in my life when I thought that the "blues" and times of slight hopelessness and small despair that I sometime experienced could be called "depression". Then I experienced depression second-hand in the lives of people I love, and I realized that I didn't know what I was talking about.

It's hard now to express what I think of this terrible condition. At least not in words that are fit to print in a family blog. I think C. Michael Patton said it well, above: "my heart does not know how to respond to others who are groping for hope in a dark mind. I want to grab their depression by the neck and kill it, burn it, smash it, and choke it. I hate it."

When Christ's kingdom is fully realized, depression will be a thing of the past. It will be cast into the lake of fire along with our enemy and all the other curses of fallen creation.

If you are currently suffering from depression, or in that baffling, helpless state of trying to help and encourage someone you love dearly who is wearing the dark sackcloth, my heart goes out to you. May the mercy and rescue of God be yours in abundance, and may joy truly come in the swift-approaching morning.

Tonight I watched Frank Capra's masterpiece It's a Wonderful Life with my bride. I love that movie. Jill loves the fact that, no matter how hard I try not to, I get misty in the last scene.

Something occurred to me during the climactic "never been born" section of the movie that has never occurred to me before: I wonder how many people watch this show these days and think "Pottersville looks a lot more fun than Bedford Falls."

Pottersville, with its bars, dancing girls, gambling houses and gin-joints that serve hard drinks to men who want to get drunk fast fits far better into our coarsened, entertainment-saturated culture than the quiet streets of Bedford Falls, with it's Bijou, Emporium, and that wonderful old Bailey building and loan. Pottersville moves, and has the flashing lights, raucous crowds, and the frequent gunshots to keep our short attention spans jumping. No one's bored in Pottersville.

For my part, I'm hoping to spend more time in Bedford Falls in 2012.

"Zuzu's petals! Zuzu's . . . they're . . . they're here, Bert!

What do you know about that? Merry Christmas!"

Merry Christmas, everyone, and may you have a wonderful new year!

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

- C.S. Lewis

Doug Wilson over at Blog and MaBlog reflects on the death of Christopher Hitchens. An excerpt:

Those who hold to the gospel of Jesus Christ must always remember that the good news of Christ is set against the backdrop of the bad news -- we are all of us sinners, and we all need cleansing and forgiveness. Christopher Hitchens did not need to come to Christ to have his arguments refuted (although that would have happened). He needed to come to Christ to have his sins forgiven.

There will be a CanonWIRED clip out shortly, in which I caution Christians against two errors -- and both of them are errors of speculation. The possibility of last minute conversions must never be turned into actual last minute conversions. No one is wished into Heaven. There have been too many unbelievers preached into Heaven at the funeral, and we ought not to give way to the false tenderness of that impulse. At the same time, the likelihood that Christopher never called on Christ should not be turned into a hard-line dogmatic statement, followed by "good riddance." No one is wished into Hell either. We ought not to greet the news of Christopher's death the way he greeted the death of Jerry Falwell's, for example.

The bad news is that we are all under judgment. The good news is that the one who has faith in Jesus may be forgiven. We must unashamedly declare these terms to the whole world -- but declaring the terms of judgment (which Scripture requires us to do) is not the same thing as playing the Judge ourselves. We leave the soul of Christopher Hitchens (and he did have a soul, despite all his arguments) in the hands of God, who will do nothing but right.

All of this is of course consistent with the affection I had for Christopher. Our prayers and condolences are with his family and friends.

We are so utter­ly ordi­nary, so com­mon­place, while we pro­fess to know a Power the twen­ti­eth cen­tu­ry does not reck­on with. But we are “harmless,” and there­fore unharmed. We are spir­i­tu­al paci­fists, non-militants, con­sci­en­tious objec­tors in this battle-to-the-death with prin­ci­pal­i­ties and pow­ers in high places. Meek­ness must be had for con­tact with men, but brass, out­spo­ken bold­ness is required to take part in the com­rade­ship of the Cross. We are “side­lin­ers” — coach­ing and crit­i­ciz­ing the real wrestlers while con­tent to sit by and leave the ene­mies of God unchal­lenged. The world can­not hate us, we are too much like its own. Oh that God would make us dan­ger­ous!

-Jim Elliot

[HT Challies]

We are the 100%.

We are not in a battle against flesh and blood. But all we like sheep have gone astray, so we forget that. We are consumed with greed and covetousness and set ourselves against others made in the image of God.

We forget our brothers in need, we envy and rail against those who have what we desire. We place our hope in men and systems and media and money and rage.

You can divide yourself from others and categorize yourself as a 99 or a 1.

I'm in the 100% that need Jesus.

Lift up your eyes on high and see:
who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing. (Isaiah 40:26 ESV)

The passage above was read before one of the songs at church today. I want to be careful using Scripture out of context, and I'm not saying that I received a word from the Lord, necessarily. But I think I received a "Bill. Pay attention." For a moment I lost my breath.

Here's what was going through my mind: the faces of some dear friends, young people, who have left the Lord and are living lives of rebellion and lostness.

I don't know . . . Maybe for some of them faith was never a reality. But this I do know: if they were ever the Lord's, they will be reclaimed. Not one of them is missing. If they were ever held in the strong, scarred hand of the Lord Jesus, they will not ultimately be lost. They are to be reclaimed!

And that's why I felt like shouting this morning. We do not fight against flesh and blood. Our adversary has been defeated, forever! To our ancient enemy: the Lord rebuke you, and may He make you feel some real pain for daring to touch his precious ones. I know the feeling's mutual, but I hate you.

Praying for reclamation!

From Ray Ortlund.

Congratulations to the entitled, for they grab what they want.
Congratulations to the carefree, for they shall be comfortable.
Congratulations to the pushy, for they shall win.
Congratulations to the greedy, for they shall climb the food chain.
Congratulations to the vengeful, for they shall be feared.
Congratulations to those who don’t get caught, for they shall look good.
Congratulations to the argumentative, for they shall get in the last word.
Congratulations to the popular, for this world lies at their feet.

The gospel is more than handy tips for improving our lives this week. It is a new outlook on everything, illuminated by God’s promise of a glorious future renewing the entire creation through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

But God is not the only one making us promises. The world has its own version of events, its own eschatology, its own promises of reward. We must choose. And either way, we will be living by faith.

But have you ever met one person who believed this world’s unBeatitudes and came to the end a satisfied, radiant, wise person? Even one?

Tonight I was searching for something on my solo blogsite and skimmed a number of old posts, most of them written during a particularly introspective period a few years ago. At the time I didn't know who I was writing for, because no one really has ever read that space, so I'm wondering if maybe I was writing for future self to read. I was able to put words together back then.

All is well, but the words aren't flowing as easily anymore. They are swallowed up in busyness and distractions. All for good causes, I believe, but I long for simplicity.

And for no other reason than that, and because YouTube is the last refuge of the "I Got Nuthin'" blogger, I give you this simple Zooey Deschanel goodness. It's a rare doldrummed spirit that can't be lifted by a ukelele and two part harmony.



Jesus loves you, and everything is going to be set right.

Good night.

Tomorrow is our pastor's last Sunday at church. He has answered a call from another church in another state. It saddens me; I've gained a lot from his Biblically sound preaching.

It's interesting that this has caused me a good amount of cognitive dissonance. A month or so ago my father in law mentioned that there had been someone sitting on the front row at church, taking notes. "I'll bet he's from a church that's going to call [our pastor's first name]."

I remember thinking that that was kind of crass. I wanted to give that guy (I hadn't noticed him during the service) a piece of my mind. Who did he think he was, sneaking around, taking notes on our pastor?

It's pretty funny that I thought that, because I did the exact same thing six years ago. I was on the pastor search team that called our pastor to our church. I remember flying to another state, and attending a service at his then-church. I took notes. After the service I surreptitiously found him - we had already talked and he knew I was coming - and arranged a place for him and his family to meet me for lunch.

I remember having a really good lunch conversation. A month or so later we called him as our pastor. Keep in mind that we only approached pastoral candidates that had sent us their resumes and expressed interest. I think this is the common practice, and to do anything else would be unethical.

This happens all the time. Most experienced pastors in evangelical churches have been called away from other churches by pastor search teams.

So why does it bother me that it just happened to us?

If you think I'm being political here, you're wrong. This isn't primarily a political issue. It's a moral issue.

And since ours is a government of the people, those of us who have been of voting age for more than a few election cycles are complicit.

[H/T Instapundit]

“Dear Lord, I refuse henceforth to compete with any of Thy servants. They have congregations larger than mine. So be it. I rejoice in their success. They have greater gifts. Very well. That is not in their power nor in mine. I am humbly grateful for their greater gifts and my smaller ones. I only pray that I may use to Thy glory such modest gifts as I possess. I will not compare myself with any, nor try to build up my self-esteem by noting where I may excel one or another in Thy holy work. I herewith make a blanket disavowal of all intrinsic worth. I am but an unprofitable servant. I gladly go to the foot of the cross and own myself the least of Thy people. If I err in my self judgment and actually underestimate myself I do not want to know it. I purpose to pray for others and to rejoice in their prosperity as if it were my own. And indeed it is my own if it is Thine own, for what is Thine is mine, and while one plants and another waters it is Thou alone that giveth the increase.” - (A.W. Tozer, The Price of Neglect)

[H/T David Guzik's commentary on Haggai 2]

From Rachel Held Evans' blog, check this out: Blessed are the un-cool.

Some excerpts below. This expresses a conviction that's been growing in me for some time.

People sometimes assume that because I’m a progressive 30-year-old who enjoys Mumford and Sons and has no children, I must want a super-hip church—you know, the kind that’s called “Thrive” or “Be” and which boasts “an awesome worship experience,” a fair-trade coffee bar, its own iPhone app, and a pastor who looks like a Jonas Brother.

While none of these features are inherently wrong, (and can of course be used by good people to do good things), these days I find myself longing for a church with a cool factor of about 0.

That’s right.

I want a church that includes fussy kids, old liturgy, bad sound, weird congregants, and…brace yourself…painfully amateur “special music” now and then.

Why?

Well, for one thing, when the gospel story is accompanied by a fog machine and light show, I always get this creeped-out feeling like someone’s trying to sell me something. It’s as though we’re all compensating for the fact that Christianity’s not good enough to stand on its own so we’re adding snacks.

Read the whole thing.

"Gospel is good news, not good advice." I'm not sure who first used that phrase, but it has been sticking with me. (I think I first heard it when John Piper was defending inviting Doug Wilson to a "Desiring God" conference.)

Jared's Gospel Wakefulness, and call to Gospel Centeredness has been sticking with me too. I've been chewing on, meditating on, and trying to figure out how to explain it to others, and more importantly, how to model it.

This morning, while perusing Jared's awesome blog, I watched a Rich Mullins video that he posted. Which led me to another one. In this one, Rich talks about how God has no taste...because he loves you, and that we should be glad about that.



And that got me thinking. Isn't that the good news of the Gospel? We don't measure up, and it's OK, because God's already "knocked out about you", to use Rich's phrase.

Wow.

Now how do I live that? How do I explain that to my children?

Which leads me to my question for you. How do you teach, and by that I mean show, the Gospel as GOOD NEWS (not good advice) to children? Too many "Gospel for children" messages are object lessons that go from the concrete to the abstract. (I have learned not to use objects in my children's sermon unless the object I use represents the object it is, not something else. Kids just don't make the leap, like grown-ups do.)

Is the parable of the two Lost Sons (i.e. the prodigal son) the answer? What story do you tell? Maybe you just tell the story of Christ's crucifixion...but how do you tell a story, or explain to a four year old or a ten year old, what the Gospel really is? Or maybe the key is to show them? How do we do that? Please tell me your thoughts. I really want to learn from you!

Who has suggestions?

It might make you feel better. Don't believe me? How about NFL Defensive Lineman Rosey Grier.



FYI - Grier played with the Giants from 1955 to 1962, during which he led the team to a NFL Championship in 1956 and the Eastern Conference Championship in 1958, 1959, 1961 and 1962. Grier was selected for the Pro Bowl in 1956 and 1960, and was named All-Pro at the defensive tackle position in 1956 and 1958–1962. Grier was traded in 1963 to the Los Angeles Rams. He was part of the "Fearsome Foursome", along with Deacon Jones, Merlin Olsen, and Lamar Lundy,often considered one of the best defensive lines in football history.
(Oh, and he also tackled Robert F. Kennedy's assassin. Now if that don't qualify you for the man card, I don't know what does.)


Still don't believe me AND Rosey Grier? Read the post below. If that won't convince you, nothing will. :gcryingsmiley:

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. - Luke 15:1-7

I want to tell a story about someone - I'll call her Denise. Denise was a leader in our student ministry. She led Bible studies, went on every mission trip, worked on every service project, and appeared to really love the Lord. But sometime in her Junior year, something slipped. She became confused in her faith and despondent. She stopped coming to church as much as she had, and she dropped out of leadership. She had questions, and doubts. She decided not to go to student camp that year.

Then she just disappeared.

Denise became a lost sheep. The thing is, I don't know how many people reached out to Denise after she left. I like to think I did, and I know that others did too (they must have). But in a bitter rant on her MySpace a year or two later she leveled her complaint at "church people". She complained that only two people had ever reached out to her after she quit going to church. In her words, all her friends "ditched her". She fell into some bad choices and I don't really know how she's doing these days.

I've seen this pattern repeated, numerous times. I've watched it in frustration and powerlessness.

The Luke passage above points to some answers, though. These are pointed directly at me as much as at any of you.

Move quickly. I believe that most lost sheep want to be found when they first become lost. Don't worry about your dignity and forgo any nonsense about "giving them space". They want to be found. But only for awhile. There are numerous lost sheep I know that I didn't act quickly on who, frankly, don't want to have anything to do with church or with me anymore. And they were once my brothers and sisters and some like sons and daughters. I've failed them

Never, ever, ever assume that it's OK, because your numbers are still good. This is a heartless response to the death of faith. Jesus speaks as though it's natural for us to leave the ninety-nine for the one.

Is it?

Excuse my french, but please, screw church growth strategies that teach that it's more important to bring in new bodies than it is to keep the ones you've got. Jesus didn't teach that, and the Biblical model is to both feed and nourish your own sheep AND add to them daily.

Add to the joy of heaven. The heavenly hosts rejoice over a lost sheep restored. Launch a rescue mission, if you can. Invite someone who has dropped off the face of the earth out to dinner, or over to watch movies. Let them know you care and you miss them, and that you love them even if they never come back to church. You might win them back.

Screw church growth strategies that teach that it's more important to bring in new bodies than it is to keep the ones you've got. Oh, wait, I think I already said that. :-)

If you've been in church anytime at all, you know someone. Reach out to them today. I'll do the same.

And pray for my friend Denise today.

[Cross posted at Out of the Bloo]

. . . the love of many will grow cold. - Matthew 24:12

When I was a young college christian, I remember making the statement to another Christian that I had "never known a Christian to fall away". I was newly come to the joy of the faith and it seemed impossible to me that anyone would leave it.

The person who I was speaking to, who was older than me, looked at me like I had a screw loose.

I've found, to my grief, that he was right. As a former lay-minister to junior and high schoolers and a current college/young singles worker, I've become quite the heartbroken student of the multiple way young people fall away from Jesus. Let me count some of the ways.

In my observation, a common cause of steps away from Christ is a lack of community after high school. That analogy student ministers use of the burning branch being removed from the fire is remarkably accurate. Oh, how we need community, yet we run from it! Often times a person's first step away from God is a step away from his people.

Others fall away because they grow angry with God. For some of these the problems of pain and suffering in the world preclude belief in God (or alternatively cause a lot of fist-shaking in God's direction). Some back away from the Lord due to the perceived disconnect between the Bible and science, as their faith is - illogically, in my view - swallowed up in the overwhelming weight of eons and light years, and the infinite smallness of man. "How could such an arrangement include a personal God?" they think. For many, I think being a christian just seems like too much work. Their faith consists of lots of dos and don'ts, and little else, so what's the point? Some, perhaps more than you think, leave the church due to perceived hurts, or disillusionment, sometimes because their faith was placed in fallable student leaders, or the church itself, rather than Jesus. Disillusionment and hurt can be crushing. Finally, I think many become enamored with all the hope that they see here on earth, and they love this present world, chasing after what will make them rich, or famous, or popular. Why give up earthly hopes for the perceived less attainable hope of being with Jesus?

It is on such rocks as these that faith is shipwrecked.

But there is a heart-issue at the bottom of every falling. The issue can appear to be a lack of faith, or misplaced hope, but I think at its root the problem is a lack of love.

If people have been won to a belief (of some sort) in God but not to a love and
desire for him, what love there is by definition is already cool. What we win them with is what we win them to, and if people are not won to a love of Jesus, because he loved them first; if they are not won to a deep love for God and their neighbor because of the great mercy and love shown them in Jesus, I submit that there is no heat to that flame. And yet they can still fit in pretty well in a Christian context. For awhile.

I've heard former believers describe the deep commitment to the Lord that they once had. "I went on mission trips! I led people to Jesus!". Their zeal was hot. But zeal and love are not the same thing. I've known zealous christians that are full of hate, often for other christians. I think the only way they reconcile this with the command to love the brothers is by making the leap to "no one knows the truth but me", which usually turns into "no one truly believes but me". And that is such a dangerous place to be. Hating your brother is murder, and a million miles away from Christ's calling of love.

Love grown cold; I've seen too much of it. Yet I continue to hope that the flame has not completely died out for the beloved prodigals I'm thinking of. Fire still falls from heaven and love never fails.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

[Cross-posted at Out of the Bloo]

Here is a BBC News column that asks, "Why do people get married after having children?" And the author is serious!

For many people having a child is the ultimate commitment to a partner. A life you have created together and are responsible for raising. It's a commitment many people make without getting married. But some then go on to tie the knot, like Ed Miliband and his partner of six years, Justine Thornton. Why?

There are the obvious financial and legal advantages to getting married. For older people issues surrounding pensions and inheritance are often the reason they decide to get hitched after years together. But Miliband and Thornton are still young.

And while the pressures on the leader of the Labour party will be slightly different to those of the average person, there is no mistaking that attitudes to marriage and family have changed. Getting married used to be about sex, living together and having children, but research shows this is no longer the case.

According to the latest British Social Attitudes (BSA) Survey, which was conducted in 2008, almost two-thirds of people now see little difference between marriage and living together. Fewer than a fifth of people took issue with it. Just under half thought cohabitation showed just as much commitment as getting married. When it comes to children, where opinion can often be a bit more traditional, only 28% said they believe married couples make better parents.

So why do it? Psychologist Donna Dawson, who has specialised in sex and relationships, says it is often about making a public statement. "Having the children take part is like a ceremonial creation of a family and a public statement that they are all in it together. It's very much a 21st Century ritual, which more and more people will be doing."

She says even when couples say there isn't a specific reason, there is "always something going on underneath. Sometimes it is about marking a different stage in a relationship, or they might have taken a long time because of the bad example they were set by their own parents. There is usually a reason, even if they are not fully aware of it."

Chris, 41, and his partner were together for nine years and had two children when they got married. He didn't feel any direct pressure from his partner or family, but says as his children got older he wanted them to have parents who were married. "For me a big part of it was the children," he says. "I didn't want them to be asked at school why their parents weren't married. I suppose you could say that was me feeling a slight pressure to conform to social norms, but if I hadn't wanted to get married in the first place I definitely wouldn't have done it."

Marriage statistics
In 2009 231,490 marriages were registered in England and Wales. It was the lowest number since 1895. The long-term picture for UK weddings is of decline, from a peak of 480,285 marriages in 1972

"Obviously, people wanted that freedom as soon as they could," says Mansfield. "The average age of people getting married was 21 for women and 23 for men. Now you can put a decade on those ages and that's because sex and cohabitation outside of marriage are largely accepted. Now I think people get married after the house and kids because it is very much a public celebration of what they have, rather than the passport to adulthood."

Guardian columnist Zoe Williams has been with her partner for six years and has two children - just like Miliband and Thornton - but says she thinks it is a "weird gesture" to get married at this stage.

"It's now socially acceptable to have sex, live together and have kids outside of marriage, so why spend £10,000 or more on a wedding?" she says. "Having kids is a much bigger deal than marriage, a much bigger statement of commitment. Personally, I just don't think about getting married. I simply have never felt a need to be married."

In the end it could all be about having a big party for Ed and Justine. According to BSA survey, 53% of people now think a wedding is more about a celebration than a life-long commitment.

Wow! Is this where America is headed? Are we already there? (I don't think we are there yet.) If this is where we are headed, then why all the fuss about homosexual marriage? I mean seriously, if marriage is an outdated and unnecessary institution, then why are so many progressives fighting to open it up for homosexuals? Could it be that they are more "traditional" than they realize? (Kind of like the atheist who describes the God he doesn't believe in as the Christian God.)

I wonder if the homosexual marriage fight is a uniquely American issue because Americans value marriage in a way Europe does not.