Live blogging the show (well sort of, we recorded it as our youngest had a football game).

This post will be chock-full of spoilers, along with plenty of snarky comments, wuzzats!, and, perhaps, even some cogent remarks about the show (but don't count on it).

This is the FALL FINALE! Do shows normally have those? Well, I guess Lost gets to be special.

Hmmm. It opens with the back of someone's head. Kate? I can't tell.

Yep, there's our Kate. In the real world and up to no good, my guess. Maybe there's a miniature airplane in that box?

No, it's a wedding veil.

Boyfriend. A policeman, with a suave, smooth opening line of "Hey, wanna get it on?"

Back to the cages. Sawyer's doing the whole "prisoner throwing something against the wall" thing from The great escape. I think he's mad at Kate because he refuses to get her a fish biscuit.

The aquarium. Jack appears to be ready to operate; he's going over Ben's bloodwork. Sounds like the operation has to happen fast.

Whoa. Jack's been playing games with them! He has no intention of doing the surgery. He just wants to see Ben die! He's being tough - He even threw a file at Juliet - and Jack-lovers everywhere are swooning right now.

Jack is the man! Jack is the man! Jack is the -

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Kate is in bed with the policeman. He jokingly foreshadowed that "it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding". Then she shot him.

Not really, but I expect him to die soon. His names Kevin. And from the look on her face after she said "I love you too Kevin", she doesn't. [later edit: he doesn't die, and she does love him. Maybe I'm just dumb]

Back to the cages - and they are only going to make Kate work today. Danny is opening Sawyer's cage and I foresee Sawyer getting the crud beaten out of him any second now. But he's just making him go to work too because Kate was complaining.

Back in the jungle. Everyone's gathered over Eko's body. Locke wants to bury him right there. There have been "too many funerals on the beach".

Sayid and Locke are walking back to the beach, and talking about the monster. Locke believes that the monster might be what brought them here, and that Eko died for a reason. Locke is taking a little detour.

Back to the rock quarry. There's a "breach in the compound".

AIIIIIEEEEEE! ALex with a slingshot!

What? Alex with a slingshot?

She's being dragged away. Evidently her boyfriend (Chachi?) got killed. She's screaming at Kate to not believe the Others (oh really?) and that they are going to "Kill her boyfriend".

But which one?

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Back on the rock quarry. Juliet is walking over to Kate, smirk on her face. "Put the hood on Kate or Danny will kill Sawyer" is the basic message. But if she puts the hood on, perhaps she can stop the killing. More games from Juliet!

Flashback. Kate in a wedding dress. And here's her mom - I'm assuming all this is before Kate killed her stepdad.

Kate's real name is Monica, by the way. And I guess this isn't Kate's mom, it's the groom's mom. [later edit: And Kate's fake name is Monica. I am just not very bright!]

During the ceremony. Kevin loves "Monica" because "What you see is what you get". Which tells me that he's not particularly bright. But Monikate looks pretty happy. She's a hard nut to crack.

Now they are leading Kate into the aquarium. Jack stands up. (Matthew Fox, by the way, is doing some great acting here). Jack is, you can tell, really happy to see Kate (although they can't hug because she's on the other side of the glass). Jack asks after Sawyer, which make me like Jack even more.

"Did they hurt you?"

Kate starts to cry. We still don't know what she's been through. Kate tells Jack that if he does what they've asked him they won't kill Sawyer. Man, the Others' little game is starting to play out.

Jack's kind of being a jerk about it.

Ben's watching in those funky John Lennon glasses of his. He doesn't like what he's seeing.

Commercial
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Flashback: Kate in the store. Happily married, she and her policeman hubby are sharing some cute newlywed banter.

It's raining. Ever notice that they associate Kate and rain alot on this show? I wonder why?

She's in a phone booth, and she's calling the Marshall (the one who died on the beach).

"I don't want to run anymore." I think Kate sincerely loves her husband. The Marshall has promised to stop chasing her if she really stays put, really settles down.

"But you and I both know that's not gonna happen". He knows Kate well.

Back in the cages. "Where's sawyer". And it looks like they are going to kill Sawyer. Or at least cold-cock him. Danny insinuates that this is Sawyer's last day on earth, because he tells him that if he has anything to say to Kate he "best say it tonight"

"So, how was your day, honey?" - Sawyer, you're cool, even when doomed.

Eko's funeral. Locke is saying some appropriate words, and proclaiming again that Eko died for a reason.

He's banging in the "prayer stick" and stops. "Lift your eyes and look north" it says.

A message for Locke.

Back in the cages. Kate is telling Sawyer that he's gonna die. And she's breaking out. I have a feeling the naked scene is coming very soon.

Kate's busting him out! But Sawyer ain't runnin' - 'cause "There ain't no place to go". He's explaining the Alcatraz predicament to her.

He never told Kate because he wanted her to believe that they had a chance.

And here comes the sex . . . hide your eyes kids.

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Random thought during commercials. Sawyer hasn't been beaten up, stabbed, shocked, operated on, or tortured yet [later edit: I forgot about the earlier cold-cocking by Danny. It's hard to keep track of all the beatings, frankly]. Plus Kate loves him temporarily. Aside from the fact that he's going to die tomorrow, he's having a really good day.
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Flashback to the married couple, eating breakfast.

"Look under your plate." He seems like a really good guy. Two tickets on Oceanic to Costa Rica so they can have that honeymoon they've always wanted.

Back in the cages, awash in afterglow. Sawyer wants to know if she really loves him, or if she really just said that to get Danny to stop beating him up. She doesn't answer, but starts kissing Sawyer again.

"I love you too," Sawyer replies. Aw, Sawyer is smooth.

Back to the aquarium: Jack hears voices coming from the intercom. It's telling him to try the door (which is unlocked). Was that Alex's voice?

Jack has free reign, and he's in the TV control center.

And he's found the gunrack! Oh, this is going to be interesting. Jack's now got a pistol. And he sees Sawyer and Kate mugging. And someone is behind him.

Ben! Who is pretty cool with a gun pointed at him. "If I were a betting man I would think she would have picked you".

But instead of blowing him away, Jack is offering to do the surgery. And he promises to get the tumor out and keep Ben alive, provided Ben gets him off the island.

I think they are psychiatric geniuses and they knew what seeing Kate and Sawyer together would do to Jack. Their wacky plan is starting to make sense to me. I am even wondering if the Juliet poster-board ploy isn't some other form of psychotic coercion.

Commercial
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Back in the honeymoon cage. And now directly to a flashback.

Kate is looking at a pregnancy test. She's pregnant! And not too thrilled about it, by the looks of things.

She's bringing Kevin some lemonade. He's working on cop stuff on his laptop. Out of the blue she's confessing her whole thing to him (about blowing up her stepfather, her name's not really Monica, etc). Wow - she's going to leave. Evidently I read the pregnancy test wrong - she says she "almost had a baby".

She drugged him - with the lemonade, evidently, so he just collapsed. She leaves him the locket his mom gave her on their wedding day that I forgot to write about earlier in this post. And she takes off.

Jack and Juliet are in the operating room. He is setting her straight on who's in charge. She says she's "always been very good at just following orders."

Ben asks if Jack is nervous. He says he doesn't get nervous.

Ben: "Whatever happens, everything will be very different, won't it?"

Ben asks Juliet if Alex has asked about him. She says no.

And "See you on the other side". Ben is out.

"Scalpel" - the surgery is on. Wait, I thought the tumor was in Ben's neck. But Jack's operating on his lower back. I'm confused. Can anyone help here?

Danny is going off all half-cocked to the honeymoon cage to get Sawyer. He doesn't trust Jack, obviously. And Sun killed Colleen. So the natural thing to do is go manhandle Sawyer.

Back in the operating room. Something's going wrong. Whoa. Jack has a plan. He's talking to Zeke - Jack has made an incision in Ben's kidney, and Ben will die in an hour unless Jack stitches him back up.

Back in the cages, I think Danny is going to kill Sawyer. I hope they don't kill Sawyer.

"This for Colleen, you blank blank blank!"

Luckily, the walkie talkie goes off. Zeke is telling Danny to hand the walkie to Kate.

OK, Jack. Is. The. Man. I admit it now. For this show at least.

Jack is talking to Kate, telling her that she and Sawyer will have an hour head start. He tells her that if she gets safe in the next hour to call him and tell him the story that he told her the first day they met.

Kate: "I CAAAANNNN'TTTT"

Jack: "KATE!!! DARNIT!!!! RUUUNNNNNN!!!!"

END OF SHOW. AAAAARRRRRRGHGHGHH!!!

OK, I give this show an "A" and I can't wait until February.

Also, Jack doesn't know about Alcatraz, evidently . . .