"As they passed the rows of houses they saw through the open doors that men were sweeping and dusting and washing dishes, while the women sat around in groups, gossiping and laughing.
"What has happened?" the Scarecrow asked a sad-looking man with a bushy beard, who wore an apron and was wheeling a baby-carriage along the sidewalk.
"Why, we've had a revolution, your Majesty -- as you ought to know very well," replied the man; "and since you went away the women have been running things to suit themselves. I'm glad you have decided to come back and restore order, for doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City."
"Hm!" said the Scarecrow, thoughtfully. "If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?"
"I really do not know," replied the man, with a deep sigh. "Perhaps the women are made of cast-iron.""
- L. Frank Baum, "The Land of Oz"
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Love is popular. People love love. Or at least they think they do. People seem to want love without standards. For example, some kids will say things like, “You don’t love me” when their parents enforce rules. Some grown-ups act the same way. And of course, the main argument for the pro-homosexual marriage folks is "love." But what is love? I believe that true love has standards. Love has a skeleton, or it doesn't have any strength at all. Love has to stand on and stand for something, or it is valueless.
The Bible speaks often about grace, love and spiritual things. And there are Bible verses that balance each of those things with truth. Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Jesus said that we must worship in spirit and truth (John 1:24). And John says that grace, mercy and peace from God will be with us “in truth and love” (2 John 3). We must have both. Truth without love is harmful and love without truth doesn’t help anyone.
Yet there are many who want grace without the truth of sin. (Which isn't really grace at all.)
Yet there are many who want spirit without truth. (e.g. "I'm a spiritual person, I just don't like organized religion.")
Yet there are many who want love without truth. (e.g. "If you love me, you'll let me do what I want.")
A good example is parents who claim to love their children, but never discipline them. Because that kind of treatment spoils (i.e. "ruins") them, I would argue that that kind of "love" isn't love at all. Love without truth becomes idolatrous self-love, and a kind of hatred for everyone else. "He who spares the rod, hates his son" (Proverbs 13:24).
A parent who keeps rescuing their addicted adult child is showing love without truth. And in the long run, sparing that child from consequences only brings harm. I had one person tell me that they almost "loved" their adult child to death, because they kept rescuing them from consequences.
Truth matters. What we do must always be tied to truth. In the small letter of 2 John, the old apostle says that no one should welcome anyone who claims to be a Christian teacher but denies that Jesus is the Messiah, God’s son in the flesh. John says, “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work” (2 John 10-11). Wow. John is saying that we should not show hospitality to or help people that teach falsehood. Some might claim that turning people away “isn’t very loving.” But real love is always married to truth. To bring someone into your home who will be leading people astray does not love those they would lead astray. Likewise, helping someone who is hurting themselves or others is not loving or helpful. Sometimes the right thing, even the loving thing is to say, “No.”
However in John’s very next letter, he says we should practice hospitality. “We ought to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth” (3 John 8). In this case he’s talking about showing hospitality to people who are teaching the truth. See the reason for the difference? Hospitality in each case is tied to truth.
This is likewise true in everything we do. Love divorced from truth cannot stand on its own. And no one can stand truth divorced from love. They need each other. In Jesus, we find the perfect balance.
Jesus is love and truth all wrapped up in one.
But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did... This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence. (I John 2:5-6, 3:16-19)
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Comments on "Love Without Truth Isn't Love At All":
2. Les
- 05/27/2009 4:52 pm CDT
I've got a different perspective which I don't think denies any of the formerly stated truths. I would not say that love needs standards. Love IS the standard. Love is a Being in three persons whom we call God. He is the standard, and the standard is unreachable in human terms. But because a standard is unreachable, does not mean it is pointless to strive for it. In striving to love like God does (Matthew 5:45) we grow toward Him. We imitate His image as we know it. We proceed from "glory to glory" as we approach Him (2 Corinthians 3:18).
In practical terms I would rather say that the parent who enables their child acts from a selfish motive (fear of the child's disapproval, perhaps) that does not put that child's need to grow above the parent's need to be accepted. That is not love at all (hence, the post's title). And that is why it contains no truth.
I don't believe one can be "filled with love and not truth." The "truth" is, that's just not love. Truth is an attribute of love. It can't exist outside of Love. Love also contains Grace and Mercy. These are not entities apart from love, they are contained within. (Insert Venn Diagram).
I think we need to see these things in terms of dynamic and organic relationship. They don't exist anywhere else. It is relationship that is sacred. God hates anything that destroys relationships (Malachi 2:16) and has called those things sin.
In Western thought we dichotomize in order to understand, but lose so much of the essence in the process. So I don't think I'm saying anything different when I say that rather than "...everything we do must always be tied to truth..." I say, "everything we do must always be tied to love." And that would automatically tie it to Truth.
And now that I've said all that, it sounds like I'm just repeating the post. Maybe it's an insignificant nuance, but it's how I perceive it. I dunno.
3. Bill
- 05/28/2009 12:00 am CDT
Les,
Very well said. That really makes sense, and I needed to read it.
4. damien
- 05/28/2009 7:54 am CDT
i think we christians have too easily adopted the culturally-embraced phrase "unconditional love." god's love is unconditional in the sense of our not initiating it or deserving it in any way. but god's love toward us and the love he requires us to show our children and each other is laden with responsibilities and standards. the proverb "whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." make no sense when we have a mere cultural understanding of love.
5. The Ancient Mariner
- 05/28/2009 4:07 pm CDT
Philip, great post. I've added my own $0.02 here, if you're interested.
Leave a Comment:
Very good post. In my opinion, the Church today puts love above truth. We are good at being inclusive (which is good in some regards) but we are not very confrontational about a person's sin anymore (truth). How can someone be "saved" without first realizing that they are a dirty rotten sinner? Do you not need to realize your sins in order to fully embrace our Savior's sacrifice on the Cross for such sins? But the Church today (generally speaking) is about "cotton candy" salvation - looks good but once you stick it in your mouth and eat it, it melts away. No truth to stand on.
You mentioned pro-homosexual marriage. I found Steve Fuller's (Church Experiment) post for this week to be a very timely "case study" for what you just posted. He visited an openly gay Church.
The stance that the Church needs to fully embrace homosexual behavior is filled with love and not truth, in my opinion. Yeah sure, let them in the front door of the Church but at some point you need to confront them about their behavior.
This topic is also somewhat related to Dennis Prager's rant that our society is one that values compassion over standards nowadays.
By putting compassion over standards you suppress these important values that are important to our society:
1. Truth
2. Wisdom
3. Building character
4. Fairness
Very good article - here it is.