"As they passed the rows of houses they saw through the open doors that men were sweeping and dusting and washing dishes, while the women sat around in groups, gossiping and laughing.
"What has happened?" the Scarecrow asked a sad-looking man with a bushy beard, who wore an apron and was wheeling a baby-carriage along the sidewalk.
"Why, we've had a revolution, your Majesty -- as you ought to know very well," replied the man; "and since you went away the women have been running things to suit themselves. I'm glad you have decided to come back and restore order, for doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City."
"Hm!" said the Scarecrow, thoughtfully. "If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?"
"I really do not know," replied the man, with a deep sigh. "Perhaps the women are made of cast-iron.""
- L. Frank Baum, "The Land of Oz"
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
One thing I've learned as I've tried to pastor two different churches into actively pursuing and including people on the periphery of the community is that many times -- if not most times -- the people on the periphery are there because they want to be.
This continues to surprise me, but over time, less and less so.
I am beginning to wonder if the lonely soul on the margins just waiting to be invited is somewhat of a myth. I know those longing for inclusion are out there, and suspecting they may be in the minority isn't grounds to stop actively loving through pursuit and inclusion as many as possible, but I think churches may unfairly take a lot of hits, from outside and inside. A lot of people simply don't want to be involved, and no matter how many times you invite them, they're going to keep resisting.
It's easy to take potshots at churches for not "reaching out." The truth is that a whole lot of churches are. But many they're reaching are pretty content right where they're at.
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Comments on "There 'Cause They Want to Be":
2. John
- 05/11/2010 6:48 pm CDT
Along those lines, see Gene Veith's blog post Introverts in church.
3. Bill
- 05/11/2010 7:37 pm CDT
I feel the dynamic tension between my desire to see myself and others leave the 99 for the 1, but also having dealt with some 1s that want to be 1s
This both reminded me of a "1" that I have been meaning to call for several weeks who has dropped out of our ministry, and also to keep learning to reach out but not stress about the results, because they aren't in my control.
Good food for thought, Jared.
4. jen
- 05/11/2010 9:09 pm CDT
So funny that you posted this. I was thinking about a gal in my small group who hasn't come for the better part of a year and isn't responding to emails or overtures from our leader or others in the group. I wondered how much more we were supposed to pursue her and then the Lord said to never stop.
5. Bobbi
- 05/11/2010 9:39 pm CDT
There are so many spiritually dead people around us. Only the Holy Spirit can open their eyes. I pray daily and will keep praying as long as I can. God will open eyes in His time. I ask everyone to Bible study. My neighbor turned me down but she knows who to ask about the Bible if she is interested. Another neighbor, who wouldn't let me pray with her said it was okay if I prayed FOR her. Her financial problems were solved. A woman in our church came to Bible study and then dropped out. I sent her a card and she came back for awhile and then dropped out. I took her to Bible Study Fellowship but she wasn't interested in attending. Then I realized she was a night person and couldn't function easily in the morning. I pray that a night person will invite her!
6. Mark
- 05/11/2010 10:36 pm CDT
Thanks for posting this Jared. I have seen this for years. I think the "church" is often unfairly criticized for not reaching out when in truth most people don't want to be reached.
7. nhe
- 05/12/2010 9:26 am CDT
I'm not quite clear on if we're talking about Christians or non-Christians, but I guess I sort of agree.
I think the "1" or the "least of these" exists both inside the church, and outside.
Inside the church, there are plenty of folks who are very faithful and available, but they go unnoticed because they don't look the part. I think they're the Gideons, the unassuming ones that God wants to do amazing things through.
Outside the church, it's clearly the prisoner, widow, orphan, etc......that one is kind of obvious.
8. Quaid
- 05/12/2010 1:07 pm CDT
I think there is a lot to be said, as Bobbi and others insinuated, for maintaining a presence because there will invariably be a time when someone who wants to stay on the periphery 99.9% of the time will "let their guard down" or simply need to retreat to community.
The fact that someone knows there is a caring group of people out there who are willing to accept someone might not matter at the moment, or even for the next ten years, but you keep that presence and inviting spirit so when that time of need arises, you are ready.
Regarding unbelievers:
Colossians 4:5-6
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
9. The Ancient Mariner
- 05/15/2010 4:01 pm CDT
The interesting thing is that often people who don't want to be drawn in from the periphery are the same ones who blast churches that don't try to draw them in--they are walking lose-lose situations for the church, just like the sort of people who move from being grumblers in one church to being grumblers in another. There are certainly those who long desperately to be drawn in but are too frightened/insecure/proud to do anything about it themselves; but in my experience, more often than not, if people want to be included, they'll find someplace that looks promising and simply start burrowing their way in, even if they aren't given any encouragement.
Again, that's no excuse to ignore visitors, newcomers, occasional attenders, and the like; we're called to reach out in love to everyone who gives us the chance, regardless of how they respond or whether they're "good prospects." But it does make me think, as you suggest, that we need to do that for its own sake, because that's what Jesus wants us to do, not because there are lots of people just waiting to start coming (or coming regularly) if we'll only ask.
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I keep my distance because I have a shyness disorder. Being approached by people makes me nervous, and when they try to involve me in things, I want to run away.