"If you think Scripture is telling you what you want to hear, take a long, hard second look."
- The Ancient Mariner
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
10. The guys at Reformerware.com give you a bulk pricing discount.
9. Your home group leader locks you in a closet during Bible study.
8. You spend the entire fall semester on a verse by verse exposition of Romans 9 in your Sunday School class. Your kindergarten Sunday school class.
7. You spend lots of time on ebay searching for a signed 1st Edition of Calvin's Institutes.
6. Your spouse wakes you at night from a bad dream, and says you were mumbling, over and over, "Infra or supra?! Infra or supra?!"
5. You react angrily when someone mispronounces "Lorraine Boettner."
4. Your eyesight failing, you go to the doctor and he diagnoses "presbyopia." You assume this is Latin for "reading too much Reformed theology."
3. On the weekend of your wedding anniversary, you book a romantic trip for two to Akron, Ohio for a Ligonier Ministries Conference.
2. Your time on the throne is now spent reading Modern Reformation.
1. When a family member buys you an Ipod for your birthday, you storm out of the room in a rage when you learn that it is NOT pre-loaded with over 30 hours of MP3 audio from the world's leading Reformed theologian, Dr. R.C. Sproul.
Trackbacks:
Trackback URL: http://thinklings.org/bloo.trackback.php/2334.
Comments on "Top Ten Signs You're a Calvinist-- Who's Still in the "Cage Stage"":
3. Wyman
- 08/10/2005 3:58 am CDT
Very good.
How about:
- You name your dog Œcolampadius
- You think that Arminianism must somehow have been behind the 911 attacks
- Poetry makes you very, very nervous
- You give your wife a wall-sized poster of Perkins' "Golden Chain" on your 10th wedding anniversary
- You think that smiling is overrated
4. Alan
- 08/10/2005 6:26 am CDT
Southron:
The "cage stage" is a term used to describe the period after one becomes convinced of the truth of Reformed theology. This period is typically characterized by an obsession with that new-found truth and an obnoxious insistence on disseminating that truth as widely as possible by discussing it with everyone at all times.
As for Boettner's name, it's pronounced "Lor-AYNE." It's tricky, I know.
Wyman:
Arminianism is NOT behind 9/11? Says who?
6. Raindream
- 08/10/2005 7:09 am CDT
Funny! You know, I never gave that infralap-whatever-ianism or the other two much stock. Foolish theological gnay-straining to me.
7. Wyman
- 08/10/2005 7:24 am CDT
Amazingly, though, the only thing harder to pronouce than infralapsarianism is "infralap-whatever-ianism." I've tried to say it like 10 times now and can't pull it off! Thanks for ruining my afternoon. It's almost as hard as the most difficult tongue-twister in the world:
The sixth shiek's
Sixth sheep
Is sick
Okay, somebody, I've wondered long enough, how do you pronounce Lorraine Boettner?
What's the "cage stage?"
And, you're clowning too much to be a true Calvinist!
:^)