"As they passed the rows of houses they saw through the open doors that men were sweeping and dusting and washing dishes, while the women sat around in groups, gossiping and laughing. "What has happened?" the Scarecrow asked a sad-looking man with a bushy beard, who wore an apron and was wheeling a baby-carriage along the sidewalk. "Why, we've had a revolution, your Majesty -- as you ought to know very well," replied the man; "and since you went away the women have been running things to suit themselves. I'm glad you have decided to come back and restore order, for doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City." "Hm!" said the Scarecrow, thoughtfully. "If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?" "I really do not know," replied the man, with a deep sigh. "Perhaps the women are made of cast-iron.""

- L. Frank Baum, "The Land of Oz"
Yet Another Wild At Heart Review

I have already posted (some would say ad nauseum) on John Eldredge's book Wild At Heart. I had planned to leave this subject be, but two interesting things happened today. One - a good friend of mine out of the blue emailed me to get my take on Wild At Heart. Secondly, another friend, Randy Brandt, wrote a review of Wild At Heart on his site Contend 4 The Faith. This review echoes my feelings about WAH about as well as any review I've read thus far. A few snippets:

I will deal primarily with areas of concern, of which there are many. One gets the impression that Eldredge has read a great deal of New Age-flavored men's movement material such as Robert Bly's Iron John, but his theological studies have been lacking. Wild at Heart is a classic example of modern evangelicalism's infatuation with man-centered self-love psychology, baptizing it with a dose of Bible verses (typically torn out of context) and pronouncing it good. That mentality is why Promise Keepers ran into trouble by promoting Robert Hicks' The Masculine Journey. Self-love sells better than Biblical self-denial.

Eldredge's carelessness with Scripture is evident from the title page for the first chapter, where we read this misquote: "The heart of a man is like deep water." Proverbs 20:5 NKJV. As Daryl Wingerd has pointed out, the NKJV verse actually says, "Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water." Eldredge changed the subject of the verse from "counsel" to "heart" to suit the theme of his first chapter, without giving any clue to readers that the verse has been modified in such a way as to completely alter the meaning. There is no excuse for twisting Scripture in this way, and his cavalier approach to God's Word is seen later on page 166 where he claims that Jesus failed in his first attempt to rebuke an evil spirit and had to get more information (Luke 8:26-33). This is a subtle link to open theism, denying the omniscience of God. Jesus never "had to get more information" so that he could succeed after first failing in his plans.
Randy also addresses another section of the book that I found irritating.
Wild at Heart addresses the difficult topic of how to respond to bullying on page 78. Christian families will vary greatly in how they choose to train their boys. Eldredge has only one solution:

"hit him . . . as hard as you possibly can."

Some might question the wisdom of this in a world where guns all too often come into play. Escalating the violence may be a fatal miscalculation. When the Bible speaks of turning the other cheek, is it not possible that walking away from a confrontation shows greater strength than punching a tormentor? Eldredge insists that only emasculation can result, and seems unwilling to consider the Biblical injunctionof Romans 12:21, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
The entire review is excellent, and there's much more to it than I've quoted here. I'd recommend reading it if you have read or are planning on reading Wild At Heart

Update 8/21/2003 12:35pm - None other than Blo himself sent me this Review of Wild At Heart. The reviewer (Daryl Wingerd) takes issue with three of the main themes of the book:

Problem #1: Recklessly Dividing the Word of Truth - beginning with the very blatant misquote/editing of Proverbs 20:5. Not misinterpretation, editing.

Problem #2: Whitewashing the Human Heart

Problem #3: Making God in the Image of Man - in this section Wingerd takes issue with the near Open Theism of WAH.

It's an interesting review, and probably the most comprehensive I've read so far

Trackbacks:

Trackback URL: http://thinklings.org/bloo.trackback.php/473.

Comments on "Yet Another Wild At Heart Review":
1. T.I. Hulk - 08/20/2003 8:13 am CDT

Hulk smash bullies!

Hulk smash sissy girly boys!

Hulk not listen to others! Others listen to HULK!

Or Hulk smash!

2. Bill - 08/20/2003 8:15 am CDT

Thanks Hulk! The sound of crickets on this comments thread was getting deafening.

3. T.I. Hulk - 08/20/2003 8:24 am CDT

Hulk forgot signature line in last post.

In Him,
T.I.Hulk

4. Jared - 08/20/2003 8:39 am CDT

Speaking of The Hulk, the recent film adaptation directed by Ang Lee does a great job illustrating the inheritance of original sin and "warring" with the flesh.
Maybe we should carry this discussion over to Stroke's "Naughty by Nature" post.

5. Bill - 08/20/2003 8:48 am CDT

You hijack my comments thread and I'm gonna punch you right in the face!

Oh wait, sorry - I was just feeling a little WAH hateration. I'm back!

6. Stroke - 08/20/2003 8:57 am CDT

What kind of spicy comment do I need to throw out here to get my post on the "most popular" list? I don't have an expectant wife, all the other gatorade flavors are the same color to girls and guys... oh wait, this isn't even my post! Please feel free to reply to this comment under the "Naughty by Nature?" post! I'm not sure if I'm WAH, because I've never read the book. So my hateration must come from somewhere else!

7. Robert Williams - 08/21/2003 4:52 am CDT

I'm going to HAVE to read Wild At Heart now, even if for no other reason than it will give me something else to argue with y'all about. ;-)

Seriously, it's been highly acclaimed by men (including elders) in my church, so I'm kind of surprised to read the criticism here.

8. Bill - 08/21/2003 5:29 am CDT

Robert

Please do! I've been dying for a WAH supporter to come on and debunk these reviews (and debunk me - I really disagreed with a lot in the book. Am I crazy).

Please read it and get back to us. Seriously. It doesn't take long to read.

9. Bill - 08/21/2003 7:49 am CDT

Robert - in lieu of reading the book, why don't you pass the review that I posted in this post (the update I put out there today) on to one of your elders and see what they think. The reviewer does a thorough point by point Biblical critique of WAH. I'd be interested to see a refutation.

10. Blo - 08/21/2003 9:20 am CDT

11. Jonathan - 08/21/2003 12:38 pm CDT

(Runs away screaming)

12. Quaid - 08/21/2003 2:39 pm CDT

After reading the review posted in the update, I am wondering if I should take the time to read this book at all. I, like Daryl Wingerd, had decided to pick this book up in an effort to form a personal opinion. I have a minister in the church who looks at this book as good and whose wife is reading it to better understand him and all men (from what I understand). Not to mention, there is a large group of Christians who have read and are pursuing what the book teaches.

Wingerd's exhortation at the end of his review has caused me to reconsider. He basically says stay away. I tend to lean towards this. Why take the time with something that seems so blatantly blasphemous?

I guess I shouldn't mention that I have practically read the book by reading all of the WAH comments and reviews via this web site already anyway.

Is it worth it for me to pick up the book - I am getting to much Godly advice (it seems) from too many people that the book is not worth my time.

Needless to say - the review is pretty powerful, and, according to the author, is not even comprehensive.

13. Bill - 08/21/2003 4:00 pm CDT

Quaid

I am very hungry to get some positions on this book from other people - even people who disagree with me. If you want I'd be glad to loan you my copy (if you don't mind the fact that it looks like an oragami instruction manual from all the dog-earing I did on it). That way this becomes a risk-free situation for you - you don't have to lay out any bones for your own copy.

Sometime you'll need to tell me who it among our pastors who really likes it.

14. Mac Swift - 08/22/2003 5:07 am CDT

The man doesn't even quote from the KJV, so you know he's gonna go off the deep end. ;-)

Is he one of them type people who think God speaks to them?

15. Bird - 08/23/2003 1:13 pm CDT

Zzzz . . . Did someone mentioned the KJV?

16. Randy - 08/27/2003 1:30 pm CDT

WaH has been acclaimed because it does have some good stuff that's interesting to contemplate. The problem is that the bad theology just gets overlooked by those who get to feeling WILD! Eldredge's wife unfortunately shares a name with the East German secret police (Stasi), a fact I failed to mention in my review. I refuse to joke about this fact.

17. Matt - 08/28/2003 5:27 am CDT

Years ago I caught glimpses of a strange woolly beast lurking around our neighborhood. By setting out leftover BBQ and Kool-Aid, I befriended this creature - the one known as "Blo." Eventually Blo and I taught a "Bible" study focusing on WAH.

Loved the book on my first quick read. Then we worked on a Bible study with WAH as the centerpiece. The book is NOT a Bible study. Blo and I had to work hard to link the central themes of WAH to scripture. For most of the themes, it could be done, even if Eldredge chose not to do so in his book.

The problem is: since a few of the themes (every man is wounded by his father, you should teach your kids to beat up other kids, etc.) have zero scriptural backup, does this mar the entire work? I don't think so. Other than the Bible, I don't have to agree with everything an author writes to get something positive from him/her.

18. Bill - 08/28/2003 9:20 am CDT

Thanks Matt - it's nice to hear a positive take.

I've talked to Blo (at least I think I've talked to Blo - perhaps I was hallucinating) about this and he felt that there were some positives, although I don't recall him elaborating. I'd like to get your take on those - what would you consider the central themes of WAH, and/or the positive aspects of the study?

19. rnees - 09/10/2003 9:23 am CDT

So nice to (here)some negative comments that support what me and a friend thought in the beginning of reading this book. My husband got totally caught up in this book, did studies and is set to do another. He bought many copies for his friends, of which I have extras is anyone wants a copy! I would rather send one of my copies than to see John Eldredge make untold more millions just because of the controversy over his book. I don't think that the bad in the book can be overlooked, as I have seen the annoyingly bad effects in my life and my kids lives. But I also have seen some good things in my husband, so go figure.

20. Bill - 09/10/2003 9:28 am CDT

Thanks for commenting rnees -

Without getting too personal, what were the negative effects you have experienced?

21. Owen Cook - 10/08/2003 10:58 am CDT

Has anyone noticed that Eldredge quotes Albert Schweitzer? In case you don't know who is, He is responsible for the "quest for the historical Jesus" movement which basically says that the Jesus of faith is totally different from the Jesus of History in a most heretical way. Just do a google search on Albert Schweitzer and heresy. This gives further insight into what some of his personal views may be, or maybe he just got the quote from a book of quotes.

22. Ross McGary - 10/11/2003 5:35 pm CDT

I like your blog. May I point out a simple issue? In your art on "NEXUS" Theology and Philosphy are given merely equal weight to Sports and Leisure. I do not think you mean to do that - so change your graphic - a picture is worth (as damaging) as a thousand words. Theology is the queen of the sciences - certainly the Word of God is (to be) the foundation of all else on your nexus spokes.

ETS (Evangelical Theological Society) and the EPS (Evangelical Philosophical Society) have said it well. Philosophy is rightly the handmaiden to translate theology into terms compatible with other disciplines concerns.

Keep you your good blog.

Ross

Christus Nexus

23. shrode - 10/12/2003 1:16 am CDT

Owen, you are right about Schweitzer. And I haven't read WAH and I haven't read the Schweitzer quote you are referring to. BUT... just quoting someone favorably is not the same as endorsing their views. I've used quotes from all sorts of pagans and heretics if the quote is a true statement. All truth is God's truth. Even Paul used some pagan quotes! If it is true, it is true regardless of the source. So quoting someone heretical, is not the same as endorsing their views on every other issue.

That said, I don't know if the Schweitzer quote Eldredge uses is good or bad, true or false, but the fact he quotes Schweitzer is not a reason to indict him, in my opinion.

24. Bill - 10/12/2003 1:46 am CDT

Hi Ross, welcome aboard, and thanks for the compliment.

Just to clarify: you wrote In your art on "NEXUS" Theology and Philosphy are given merely equal weight to Sports and Leisure. I do not think you mean to do that - so change your graphic - a picture is worth (as damaging) as a thousand words.

You are right - we did not mean to give that impression. Because that's not what our graphic means - it isn't meant to represent either priorities or equalities, but simply to list the types of things talked about on the Thinklings.

My hope is that no one is damaged by looking at our graphic - to discern what our site is really about the best method is to read the content.

Hope that makes sense. Thanks again for visiting

25. Jared - 10/12/2003 6:34 am CDT

Bill, you are too kind.
I laughed HARD at that comment.
And even if you are going to "read" the logo that way -- which is silly in itself -- he has it completely wrong. The "spokes" as he calls them, are through-lines. So Theology/Philosophy is not "balanced" by Humor/Wit but by Sociology/Culture which is on the same line as T/P on the other side.

Which is all besides the point anyway!
All we did is a send a list of categories to our graphic artist (my brother) with a general description of what we'd like the logo to look like. We didn't prioritize the list or anything. It's just supposed to show the topics covered.

26. Randy Brandt - 10/13/2003 8:33 am CDT

re: Schweitzer
I don't know if Elredge is a fan of Schweitzer and the Jesus Seminar, but I doubt it. I just get the impression that he's incredibly careless as an author, and just throws anything out there that he finds interesting. That's why he can use the language of open theism while denying he's an open theist. He can rework a Bible verse without telling us that he's changed its meaning. He can approvingly quote Kevin Costner given encouragement about a boy's penis size, without ever admitting that Costner was to blame for Waterworld.

27. Robert Williams - 10/13/2003 10:38 am CDT

Speaking of the logo, I've been meaning to speak to you about "Humor & Wit". The Bible says:

Ephesians 5:4 "there mst be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks." (emphasis added)
1 Peter 1:13 "keep sober in spirit"
1 Peter 4:7 "be of ... sober spirit for the purpose of prayer"
1 Peter 5:8 "Be of sober spirit"

Might I suggest that you change that line to "Thanksgiving and Prayer"?

28. Jared - 10/13/2003 11:46 am CDT

Sounds good. Let's also change "Sports and Leisure" to "Solitude and Reflection.";"0

29. Bill - 10/13/2003 11:51 am CDT

Saw this story about a definitely Wild at Heart priest over on Lilac Rose.

I get conflicted by stories like this - because I think the priest could have been just as much a man standing up for what's right without pulling out the "I'll kick your wass" card. On the other hand - this is a really funny story and the guy got what he deserved.

On the third hand (yes, I have three) I think the "turn the other cheek" passage in the bible is among the most rationalized ever.

30. Bill - 10/13/2003 11:54 am CDT

And while we're at it, let's change the sillohette [sic] - the one we have looks like Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

31. Jared - 10/13/2003 12:03 pm CDT

I get conflicted by stories like this - because I think the priest could have been just as much a man standing up for what's right without pulling out the "I'll kick your wass" card.

I was thinking the exact same thing!
That dude acted like he only had two options -- just take the guy's crude remark or threaten the guy with bodily harm. How about just responding calmly yet firmly? You can defend yourself without offering to "take it outside."
Lame.

I also agree that the "turn the other cheek" thing is often misinterpreted. Also, "don't judge lest ye be judged.";"0

32. Robert Williams - 10/13/2003 12:37 pm CDT

Let's also change "Sports and Leisure" to "Solitude and Reflection."

You're starting to come around!

33. Jared - 10/13/2003 12:57 pm CDT

I thought you'd think so!
Hey, don't you have a list of activities to be forbidding at your site right now?
Perhaps you could blog on which card games are too much like gambling and which ones are okay.

34. Robert Williams - 10/14/2003 3:18 am CDT

which card games are too much like gambling

Speaking of card games, I was visiting a "Church of Christ" preacher who is an acquaintance of mine (his wife and I used to work together) once and we were playing cards in their dining room. We joked that we might need to close the blinds just in case someone saw us. Now I realize that even the joking was wrong. :-)

35. Jared - 10/14/2003 4:08 am CDT

Yes, and so is working with women.

36. Robert Williams - 10/14/2003 4:26 am CDT

Yes, and so is working with women.

Not just that, but a heretical Campbellite preacher's wife! (They taught real Campbellite heresy, and did not like Max Lucado one bit.)

Also, "don't judge lest ye be judged."

We were discussing this in small group Bible study a couple of weeks ago. What is your understanding of the verse? In what way do you think people generally misinterpret it? I understand it to be a prohibition against _hypocritical_ judging.

37. Jared - 10/14/2003 4:40 am CDT

Really what I had in mind was the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" passage.
I take it as a warning against assuming God's place as Judge (ie. condemnation). It's also a prime example of Jesus asserting His authority. He was really the only one there without sin.
I think people misinterpret it by citing it every time someone merely points out the sin of another. The people's sin was not saying the woman was an adulteress. That was true enough. They erred in their thinking that, by their alleged holiness, they deserved to "send her to hell" as God could.

----
Speaking of Campbellite heresy:
Thinkling Asbell is a member of a "progressive"-type Church of Christ congregation. They are considered heretics by hardline Campbellites, and I've even found some web sites by these folks slamming Asbell's pastor (or, I guess they call him Teaching Elder or something like that). It's brutal.

38. Robert Williams - 10/14/2003 9:10 am CDT

These folks were pretty hardline. Their teaching was just shy of works-based salvation.

39. Mary Lillo - 10/25/2003 11:47 am CDT

I am impressed with the writer of this review on Wild at Heart. The heart of this review is a genuine desire to hold true to the teachings of God. On the other hand, I am disappointed that so much of the focus is on Open Theism. I would hope that objective thinkers, such as yourselves, would be able to overlook your objection to Open Theism and recieve the POINT of the book which is not Open Theism but rather the state of a man's heart. As a devote Christian wife, I encourage others to read this book and have seen friends greatly blessed by it. It saddens me that so many men reject the truth that could set them free found in this book due to an inability to overlook the very differences in Christian thought that the weak divide over.

40. Bill - 10/25/2003 1:41 pm CDT

Hi Mary

Thanks for commenting. I'm glad that WAH has blessed you, your husband, and your friends.

Open Theism is only a small part of my objections to WAH, but I have never intended to completely debunk everything in WAH. It has it's good points. Personally, I never could get on the Eldredge wavelength, but I realize that many men have, and my prayer is that God will use that for the good of His kingdom.

Thanks again for commenting - if you'd like to read more of our discussions regarding Wild at Heart, you can see them
by clicking here

Blessings

Bill

41. Steve - 11/03/2003 12:59 pm CST

Hi guys.
I had a lengthy email interaction with a couple of you earlier

I've read the criticisms of Wild at Heart, and I do agree that John Eldredge played around with the subject of Proverbs 20:5. However, one could reach the logical conclusion that the counsel in the heart of man cannot be any deeper than the heart itself... ie: the contents of the heart cannot be deeper than the heart itself, and indeed the heart itself must be deeper than its contents.
The reviewer also seems to forget that scripture has a few intentional word switches... not to compare John Eldredge to Matthew, but Matthew contains several instances of redirected quotation, and by the reviewers method, Matthew is heretical.
This is claerly a literary device, and look at it closely and critically... what possible evil can come from teaching that the heart is deep?

Let's move on to Luke 8:26-33. The chronology of the event described is clear. In verse 29 Jesus has commanded the evil spirit to come out of the man, and by verse 30, it still has not left and Jesus asks for the demons name.
In verse 31, the demons are trying a desperate negotiation before being cast into a herd of swine.
OK. So as an illustration of how difficult the spiritual battle can be, John Eldredge points out that even Jesus faced resistance. This in no way diminishes the power of God. No more than a rebellion in heaven by the angels of Lucifer did. These angels turned demons defied God, in heaven... yet God remains all powerful. (Obviously there is some mystery involved as to the "rules of engagement" between God and demons.)
We, as humans, face a very difficult fight to resist evil and that difficulty can never be overempasized.

On the issue of standing up to a bully, I'm assuming you all are against the war in Iraq?
Surely you worship the Warrior (Exodus 15:3) that is God? The God who surely smote the bully Egypt, the God who led the attack on Israel's enemies throughout the promised land. Or the Jesus who returns for us with a sword (Rev. 1:16) and who gives the enemies of His people blood to drink
(Rev. 16:6), so we are aware that sometimes violence is necessary and as Ecc. 3:1-8 says, there is a time for it.
Now would I counsel my child to punch a bully? I might.

When the reviewer looks at the heart, it seems he has an agenda. We have been given a new heart, and it goes without saying that it is good... after all it is where Christ dwells (Eph. 3:17) right? Christ cannot abide evil, and will not live in a wicked place, so something about the heart has to be good.

I could go on with this, but I believe I am dealing with staunch defenders of doctrine who won't be swayed. That is OK. We need you. But before being too harsh, too quick to judge... remember, it was the self appointed keepers of the law that Jesus reserved His harshest judgements for... so be vigilant not to drift over that line in your passion.

Ask this.... is the fruit of this good?
I stand on the fruits of what God has done in my life since I read the book. Your mileage may vary.

Steve

42. Jared - 11/03/2003 3:47 pm CST

Wow. That's the first time anyone in the blogosphere has accused me of being a Pharisee (if I'm included in Steve's blanket indictment). It's usually suggested I'm too worldly, even licentious.
Thanks, man!

43. Steve - 11/03/2003 5:32 pm CST

It wasn't an accusation, but interpretation is everything... as we've seen.
It might be an indirect admonition to be careful to avoid one of the pitfalls in the Christian life. I face my own pitfalls, and people like yourselves remind me that I need to not let the Truth get muddied up.
Thanks

44. Quaid - 11/03/2003 6:05 pm CST

Steve, from my perspective, what is most wrong with the misquotation of scriptutre, the mischaracterization of Christ's actions in Luke, and the justification/rationalization of bully-punching that provide a pretty accurate depiction of Eldrege's attitude towards his subject matter throughout the book is that there seems to be a complete lack of respect for God, God's Word, and God's will for our lives.

Any Christian who's been to Sunday school enough times cringes when they hear "Money is the root of all evil" out of someone's mouth. We all know, or could know by looking it up, of course, that the Bible clearly states that "LOVE of money is the root of all evil." To misquote and thereby change meaning shows a lack of respect for scripture and the God who breathed it.

We could debate on the size of the heart relative to the counsel it receives. Regardless, you just don't write Christian books and base them on scriptures that you make up. You just don't do that. This is a complete lack of respect for God's word. One may take issue with Warren's varied use of different versions of the Bible to get each of his points across in Purpose Driven Life, but he, at least, never (intentionally?) misquoted the Bible and, in the process, redirected its meaning.


Secondly, it seems as if Eldgredge just may have goofed in writing that Christ had to "get more information". Every Christian knows that Jesus is all-knowing. And I agree that the point that Eldredge is trying to make is worthy of discussion. Still, similar to scripture-twisting, you just don't go mischaracterizing the actions of Christ. There is a general sloppiness in Eldredge's writing. I think it is poor as an author, but also as a witness of Christ to handle the actions of Jesus so clumsily. It shows a lack of respect for God to not go back and make sure that when you're retelling a story of Christ to make sure you're not mischaracterizing events. You just can't do that. I am hesitant enough to read Eugene's Message knowing that it is a man's POV concerning scipture, but I have faith that Eugene has taken great lengths to make sure that he can stand behind everything he has written. I simply don't get that impression from Eldredge.

Lastly, I have never met a school-yard bully who murders, pillages and takes advantage of an entire nation for his own means. Did you really mean to make this comparison? I think your simplification of the Iraq situation is not incongruous with Eldredge's over-simplification of the Bible.

In conlcusion, I don't think that any of us are judging Eldredge, his salvation, or his belief in God. We are judging him, however, as a writer and his handling of scripture. If I had to sum up what I see the bulk of those that have problems with WAH are thinking, it would be to say that Eldredge displays a general lack of respect toward God in his book, and this lack of respect should not go unnoticed.

Steve, thank you for commenting. I hope that I haven't offended you in any way, but I think that what you wrote needed to be discussed further. I, of course, welcome your thoughts on what I have written above. I agree that there is a place for each member of the body, and, hopefully, we each might come to a better understanding on all of this WAH stuff.

45. Steve - 11/04/2003 8:07 am CST

All bully's start somewhere... they progress to murder rape and pillage sometimes. Maybe stopping a bully before they get to that point might be helpful to prospective victims.
I do not agree that I can oversimplify that.
Anyway, I'd doubt that you are saying that a bully has to be of a global scale before confrontation is righteous.
I'm going to stand on Ecc. 3:1-8, and the fact that God does not hesitate to wage war on those who persecute the poor and defenseless. We need to carefully seek God's counsel, but if I believe God is saying it's time to stand... I will.

On the issue of misquotation, or better, of interpretation/use of scripture that falls outside of excepted norms of the day, I point to Matthew. Intellectual gymnastics aside, Matthew has no qualms about reconstructing Old Testament quotes... he even seems to pull one "quote" out of thin air and changes "despised" to "Nazerene". Now I'm not Matthew, and neither is John Eldredge, but the precedent is scriptural. There is danger there, but it is a "risk" I'll live with.

With regard to respect, I guess it all depends on how man defines respect. I'm pretty sure God doesn't need me to run around demanding people respect Him as I see fit.
I think a honest search to understand God's desire for us; an honest effort to live from the place in our new heart where Christ dwells rather than living from the heart of our flesh, is entirely respectful regardless of minor doctrinal errors made bravely, honestly along the way.
I'd rather seek a life with God approaching sin from the freedom Jesus offered from it. I'd rather approach sin from a life lived from the dwelling place of Christ in my heart, with the Deep Counsel of the Holy Spirit. I'll stand on the new man that I am in Him... the battle to live from there will be fierce and sins will be made. But those sins do not define me in God's eyes. I reject condemnation, offer repentance and seek to change. I no longer fear sin and its wage, I'm free. Or that is what the Gospel says... I choose to believe that and live in faith from there.

I'm not offended. I just do not want people who might benefit from Eldredge's message to be deterred from it by accusation and condemnation. By words like "heresy".
In my case Wild at Heart caused me to look at my spiritual life from a new angle.
Folks are asking me for the reason for the hope that lies within me... like scripture says they will... people tell me that the change they have seen in my life is astounding and encourages them to continue to seek God.
That fruit is good. Sure, there is always more, and that is good. A great adventure lies ahead of us all and I pray that everyone here lets go of their human safety nets and grasps onto God, the God who shakes off human shackles like string and who does exactly what pleases Him. That we'd be trusting He will give us everything we need to fulfill His desire for us. That He'd thunder into our lives, ripping open the fabric of time and space with a power that defies description and changes our lives.


Steve

46. Quaid - 11/04/2003 8:57 am CST

All bully's start somewhere...

Yes, all bullies do start somewhere. Before Saddam made an entire nation a slave, he murdered. Before he murdered, he raped. Before he raped, he pillaged. Before he pillaged, he picked fights. Before he picked fights, he pushed. Before he pushed, he said mean things. Before he said mean things, he thought mean things. In his thoughts, the genesis of a global bully came to be.

So when do we punch him? I think we waited too long as a nation to punch Saddam. I think he should've been punished a long time ago. But this is hard. When do we have a right to step in? This might be getting a little off topic, so I'll return to what I'm really saying.

The time for bully-punching is a gray area. Of course, as soon as someone has an evil thought, or a thought that provides bully potential, we do not hit them. You and I'd be getting hit every day (multiple times, most likely). Likewise, we do not wait for the bully to be controlling a nation to punch.

I do not, however, wish to place the decision of when to punch the bully in the hands of a seven year-old. Keep in mind that there were over ten years of reasoning attempted with Saddam before anything was "done". Similarly, there must be a time of reasoning taking place for our children when confronted with others who are less than cordial.

I also think that relying on Ecc 3:1-8 is not the best idea for making life decisions, much less day-to-day decisions. There is a time for hate. Should your son hate the kid? There is a time to kill. Should your son blow the bully's head off? There is a time for war. You equate punching with war? Just because there is a time for everything doesn't mean that "everything" is at your disposal at all times. What if the next time the bully pushes your kid it is a time for love? What if it is a time for peace?

I just wanted to address the bully thing. It wasn't even the meat of your comment, but I went off on a rant that doesn't seem to want to end. So I will end with that.

Just know that I too will seek God's will, and I too will stand. What I think is cool is that you and I, despite our disagreements in these comments, will be standing together. I do not forget this.

47. Raindream - 11/04/2003 9:58 am CST

Wild Hare: I thought the other day that Jesus was the Lily of the Valley. Heh, heh. That's pretty wild, isn't it? Pretty manly.

48. Steve - 11/04/2003 12:30 pm CST

Well, I think I would need to seek the counsel and wisdom offered me by God before deciding what "time" it is.
This started when someone ridiculed a father for coming to the conclusion it was "time" for his son to stand up to the bully... a father who seems to have spent honest time with God seeking an answer to his son's problem.
Now we may not agree with the father's decision, but was his response arrived at prayerfully and honestly?
I know John Eldredge, and I know that he prays diligently and ferverently about things like this.
John's point, I believe, is that we need not select out all of our warrior instincts in order to be Christian. He likes to rock the traditionalist boat by saying that Jesus is NOT Mr. Rogers with a beard. Jesus is the most merciful, gracious, loving, compassionate, tender, healing, being the earth has ever seen... but Jesus is also the fiercest warrior. The Captain of Angel Armies (translated as the "Almighty") Those angels? It took one to decimate Egypt.
One. And Jesus is their Captain.
Another of John's points is that we must tap into that ferocity to resist sin, to resist the evil one. To fight the spritual battle for our wives and families. For our fallen brothers, for those who resist alongside us.
Jesus tapped into His strength to resist the devil when tempted, to suffer on the cross, and to descend for three days to win the battle over evil.... (three days? doesn't that diminish the power of God? Nope, those demons are tough.. see Luke Heck, see Daniel)

Sometimes we must move ahead boldly, knowing that mistakes and sin do not define us before God. He has freed us from their bondage.

I too am amazed that we can disagree, yet love each other... if any of you met John and talked with him at length about his beliefs, you may find points of disagreement, but I think you'd know the love of God drives him... the same love we share in the face of disagreement.

Thanks for being my brothers and sisters,

Steve

49. Bird - 11/04/2003 6:29 pm CST

Quaid, good job in comment 46.

This Gate's for you: .

50. Bill - 11/06/2003 12:51 am CST

Steve,

Thanks for commenting. I don't believe anyone here thinks WAH is useless or even evil. I appreciate your passion for it and I am truly glad that it has helped you become a better Christian man. In many ways the message of WAH is good. My personal opinion is that John Eldredge just isn't the right messenger. This message (Men - be men!) has been said better, and with far more balance and Biblical support, by guys like Steve Farrar and Robert Lewis. Eldredge is a sloppy writer. He has the zeal of a thousand, but he let the interpretive tail wag the scriptural dog one too many times for my taste.

Regarding the "punch a bully" debate. It is a fallacious argument to compare warfare to Jesus' very clear prohibition against personal retaliation. We are prohibited (in a very hard saying, I'll admit) from personal retaliation, but we are not prohibited from defending others.

It's interesting: I've encouraged my fourteen year old son Andrew many times to defend his little sisters, ages 12 and 10, if they are threatened by someone (at school, for instance), and he has said that he would. I've never really sat him down (that I remember) and said "I don't ever want you to retaliate in a fight." But he's read his Bible - he recently had a run-in with a kid (via email) who is dating a girl at our church who is one of Andrew's friends. The kid (who, humorously, is quite a bit smaller than my son) is not a Christian and had been talking some smack. Andrew told me that if anything were to happen he would walk away. "I'm not going to fight him" - because he believes the Bible teaches against that. Andrew never minced words with this kid in their conversations and is not afraid of the kid, but Andrew has just ignored the kid's threats.

Again, Andrew is much larger than this kid. I don't consider his principled stance weak. I consider it strong. It's another step in his becoming a man, and I'm proud of him.

I'd love to see a balanced treatment of the "turn the other cheek passage" - I've heard people argue well that it doesn't mean "never defend yourself" and I can respect their arguments (and actually in some ways hope that they are right :-). But I found Eldredge's defense of his "punch a bully" stance by reinterpreting Jesus' words in the sermon on the mount to be very weak.

51. Robert Williams - 11/06/2003 6:41 am CST

Hey, Steve. I liked WAH and defended it vigorously against people like Bill :-) in the comments of another post around here.

Especially early in the book, Eldredge mishandles scripture very badly. He does seem to improve drastically towards the end of the book. But mishandling Scripture is a really big deal. It is not a risk to take. We are to rightly handle the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15).

I don't know what the "doctrine Nazi" comments in his book and in your comments above are all about. Eldredge is speaking out of both sides of his mouth - on the one hand, he sneers about people who are concerned about doctrine and makes the same allusion to Pharisees that you do. That doesn't bother me; I'm used to being called a Pharisee, but only by licentious antinomians. ;-) But then later in the book, he writes that we cannot depend on how we feel and must stand on propositional truth when it comes to God's acceptance of us through Christ. Now, is propositional truth - including doctrine - important or not? I guess I am a legalistic neo-Pharisaical doctrine Nazi. (I think I'll start using that as a description of my blog - whaddya' think?)

it was the self appointed keepers of the law that Jesus reserved His harshest judgements for

Jesus never criticized the Pharisees for keeping the law and caring about it. He criticized them for only keeping part of the law, and being hypocritical and self righteous. In fact, He sort of praised them for their attention to things like tithing, but it was kind of a backhanded compliment in the middle of criticizing them for ignoring the weightier matters of justice and mercy.

Regarding the bully thing, I don't think retaliation is ever justified. However, hitting a bully in self defense is entirely different. I do believe Christians are permitted to defend ourselves. But this was really a very minor point that has little to do with most of the book.

I do not think John Eldredge is a tremendously skillful writer. It took a lot of effort on my part to read WAH and see the good things in it. I wanted to just chunk it. Eldredge doesn't even make his real point until the last few chapters of the books, where he spiritualizes the adventure and battle to battling against Satan and sin, and living an adventure of serving Christ daily. Christian manhood is not defined by watching Bravheart, The Patriot, and Legends of the Fall; or by rock climbing, shooting, or whitewater rafting. It's defined by following Christ and living a life devoted to Him.

I believe it's necessary that the men who have not yet repented and realized their restoration in the areas of their emotional and psychological life get those areas "straightened out" by God. Christ redeemed the whole man; salvation is bigger than justification. God does not call us to timidity, but to power, discipline, and self control. If we stop at simply replacing timidity with power, it's insufficient. Our power is not power to make sure the guy at Auto Zone doesn't take advantage of you. It's power to boldly stand for Christ despite opposition and persecution, and disicpline and self-control to live your life not for yourself, but for the transcendent cause of advancing the kingdom of God.

52. Bill - 11/06/2003 8:26 am CST

Robert,

Very well said. I appreciate your balanced response to Steve and also your ability to get the right message from WAH - I think you just hit it perfectly.

Thanks

53. Steve - 11/07/2003 4:14 pm CST

I can see how misinterpretations get started.
I never called anyone a "doctrine nazi", nor did I accuse anyone here of being a Pharisee. Please go back and read carefully.
I do want to point out that mistakes can be made on both sides of the doctrinal aisle, and also, God seems to abhor a "better safe than sorry" approach to knowing Him. (See the parable of the talents and Matthew 23).

I'm going to be provocative here, so fair warning has been given...
I think a huge number of men that are seen as examples of Christian masculinty are fakes.
They wrap fear and cowardice in the cloak of piety... and are upheld as humble and meek. Godly men.
Or the others who really just don't trust God to bless the outcome of a confrontation, or for God to protect them and their loved ones, so they take the "safe" route. They back down and slap the veneer of religion onto it.
Oh sure, they are good with words... they have all the scriptures perfect, doctrines dialed in. But it is a lie.
A pernicious lie, because it teaches others, at least in their subconscious, how to drape weakness, fear, cowardice, distrust in religious sounding tones. Somehow if it sounds "godly" and "religious", with correct intonation and inflection, built on accepted doctrine... it must be of God.
What a bunch of crap we have bought into.
I grew up in a Christian home, my dad worked at a Christian college. I've seen frauds and hypocrites my entire cognizant life, I've been a fraud and a hypocrite at various times in my own life as well.
I've also seen bold men of faith. Men willing to put their careers, their security, their reputations in God's hands and speak truth as God revealed. Hard truth. Truth that rocked the status quo and challenged men to stand or run.
I've seen Christians be absolutely vicious to each other over an interpretation of Matthew's Gospel that dared wonder aloud about Matthew's mixed quotation's, and changes of context. As if these questions of interpretation even challenged the doctrines of inerrancy and inspiration.
I've seen men hold their eyes on God and refuse to back down.
I've seen men move their families into the worst ghettos in New Orleans, put their white kids into all black public schools and start ministries that complement beleagured local pastors... risking it all.
Some men are called to that sort of boldness and daring. But somehow Christian's want to select out the traits...

So, I've seen men fold, buckle, run, and betray... yet they are upheld as paragons of Christian virtue because they knew how to put the religious lace over the truth.
In my opinion, a good number of people who are not Christian don't want any part of the life of fear Christians lead. It isn't the sinfulness they want to hold onto, they just don't want any part of the lying life we lead. There are Christian men who don't trust God enough to let their kids go to public school. They take the salt and light out of the system, and then complain about the resulting chaos. Even I can smell the fear.... you can be sure satan makes sure the nonbeliever senses it as an overwhelming stench. But it is wrapped up in "religion" so Christians buy into it.
I refuse to.

Next time a guy is telling you about a situation where he had "victory" by turning the other cheek, ask him "what was there to be afraid of..." and watch his eyes....

Steve

54. Bill - 11/08/2003 5:56 am CST

Steve

Thanks for commenting. I hope you aren't too frustrated with us, and I also want to let you know there's much in your post that I wholeheartedly agree with. As I've said many times, there is much in the WAH message that is good. My biggest struggle is against my own built-in fear and timidity. I much prefer to fade to the background than be in the center of attention (especially negative attention). God is certainly working on me - how I desire more boldness! And I much appreciated Eldredge's (and other men's study writers) call for us to fight. Men need to fight for their families! If you knew how my heart sometimes breaks over kids in our student ministry who's dads are passive, who's dads don't fight for them.

So - amen my brother!

But - again - I falter on the language and, to be honest, what I perceive as the contempt coming from WAH-speech. I sometimes praise God that I didn't become a Christian until college - that I didn't grow up with it. How disillusioned you sound! I just can't harshly judge the men I know as you seem compelled to do. It's like in WAH when Eldredge called Abraham a "coward". It took my breath away! True, Abraham lied about Sarah's status, but Abraham was about as wild at heart in his obedience to God as any man that has ever lived! And Eldredge had the juevos to call him a coward . . .

Now, to some specifics. You wrote: There are Christian men who don't trust God enough to let their kids go to public school. They take the salt and light out of the system, and then complain about the resulting chaos. Even I can smell the fear....

As a parent who has children in both public and private Christian school, I have to take issue. Many men don't fight for their kids. If their child is having a rough time in public school (and, hence, really not being salt and light to anybody) some men won't even dream of pulling them out for a season. Reason? Well, they can dress it up in high and mighty great commission talk all they want, but the real reason is simple: "If I pay that kind of jack for tuition I won't be able to buy that boat." If you think it doesn't take courage and sacrifice to pay private school tuition on a single salary, based on God's leading for each of your children individually then I don't know what else to tell you.

Finally - you wrote: Next time a guy is telling you about a situation where he had "victory" by turning the other cheek, ask him "what was there to be afraid of..." and watch his eyes....

I have been wracking my brain all morning trying to think if I've ever heard any man tell me he turned the other cheek! I honestly can't think of one instance of that. Does this really happen to you a lot?

Again it's the WAH-language that is throwing me off. Jesus Himself told us that the meek shall inherit the earth. He told the people of His day to put up with Roman oppression, to go the extra mile, to lend and not expect to be paid back, to turn the other cheek. How much they wanted a Messiah that would stand up to the Romans! Has it ever occurred to you that they were sorely disappointed in Jesus? Because they weren't seeing as God sees - the WAH mentality aims too low, in my opinion - all this talk about standing up for yourself, punching bullies, quitting your job, etc. Again - there is much good in learning to live with only God as our safety net (I have already confessed I struggle with that) - but I will never judge a man who turned the other cheek in obedience to his understanding of Christ's command, nor will I call that man a coward. Jesus preached non-violence. There is much power in that. That's why Martin Luther King Jr. was far more effective than, say, the Black Panthers in bringing about racial justice.

And the victory that King Jesus won by notresisting is the most resounding victory in the history of the universe.

And - yes - He is both the lion and the lamb! One day He will crush His enemies forever. He is the Man of all men and is our model as we strive to live out His life.

Would love to hear back from you.

55. Bryan - 12/27/2003 2:47 pm CST

I am a little confused regarding the repeated mention of Matthew, the apostle, being a revisionist or being careless with scripture. Quite frequently when OT content is quoted, or repeated, in the NT it is not in the exact form as it appeared in the OT.

There is a difference between those authors writing under divine inspiration and those of us whose writings may be interesting but are definately not "theopneustos". Am I missing something or is this a big controversy of which I am not aware?

Bryan

56. Bill - 12/28/2003 4:21 am CST

Hi Bryan

I'm assuming you're referring to comments #41, #45, #53. You raise a good question - I don't know if this is a big controversy or not - I hadn't heard of it before.

You make a good point.

57. Bryan - 12/28/2003 3:05 pm CST

Hi Steve,

Those are the comments to which I was referring. I just wanted to be certain I wasn't missing the "latest thing" (e.g. license to imitate biblical authors)...

Have a great Lord's Day!

58. Bill - 12/28/2003 3:28 pm CST

Hi Bryan

This is Bill (not Steve) - I think you and I completely agree. Steve visited our blog awhile ago and left the comments re Matthew - not sure if he ever checks back.

I hope your day is blessed as well

Bill

59. Bryan - 12/28/2003 4:16 pm CST

Ah! Sorry...I knew that. Steve was on my mind when I wrote that...

Steve, if you're lurking please send me an email.

Bryan

60. Matt - 01/16/2004 4:10 pm CST

I read the review by Daryl Wingerd in the link way up there. I don't think I have ever read such a disgusting twisting of a book ever before. The book describes people like him who are wounded and afraid. He is afraid to see the things that the book is saying and he wants to destroy it. Open theism seems to be the hot topic. It is page 30 where he says that the bible shows God taking immense risks. This is Wingerd's arguement that Elderidge does not believe that God is all-knowing. The sneaky Wingerd decides however to leave out the line before this line which Elderidge writes, "But does God have an Adventure to live? I mean, he already knows everything that's going to happen, right? How could there be any risk to his life; hasn't he ot everything under absolute control?" Now does this sound like an open theist? I don't think so. WAH is a convicting book that will scare those afraid to use there heart.

61. Bill - 01/16/2004 5:36 pm CST

Matt

Eldredge denies being an open theist, although he doesn't provide much of an argument against the charge. I dunno - I didn't get too worked up over that.

But this chest-beating has got to go: The book describes people like him who are wounded and afraid. He is afraid to see the things that the book is saying and he wants to destroy it. I get weary of this line of argument because it's not argument at all, it's just taunting and threats. You don't have any clue as to whether Wingerd's "wounded and afraid", but you disagree with him so you're questioning his manhood? Seems like respectfully agreeing to disagree would be better.

62. Bird - 01/17/2004 4:07 pm CST

Yes, Bill. Whether Eldredge wanted it or not, chest-beating is the horrid offspring of WAH.

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64. Joe - 01/21/2004 7:26 pm CST

I have read WAH through many times and have studied the field manual as well, to fulfill a request of a friend who was having trouble with it. What disturbs me most about this book is that it defies logic. How can anyone who knows God's word buy into what this book says? It is obviously scripturally inaccurate. What I have discovered is that people who allow their emotions to lead their lives love this book and the people who just don't understand it live their lives through logic and reason. This book simply hooks men on an emotional level rather than a logical rational level.

I am also concerned about Eldridge and the impact this book is having on unsuspecting (emotionally driven) people. First, let me say that I believe that John Eldridge had the best of intentions in writing this book. However, he fell tremendously short of his goal to help men better their lives. When one studies this book (that is full of personal accounts) in an attempt to understand the author, what we find is a very troubled man who feels desperately insecure as a man and who has spent his entire life trying to over compensate. Eldridge is also a man who feels very threatened by women which can be drawn from all his derogatory comments concerning women. Honestly...Ruth seduced Boaz? (Seduce means to tempt to wrongdoing, to lead astray.) And God holds this up for all women to follow?

Eldridge's mistake is in assuming all other men must feel exactly as he does. Now undoubtedly many men do (the emotionally crippled men)feel this way, however neither they nor Eldridge are in a position to help other men resolve these problems because Eldridge himself has clearly not resolved these issues in his own life. Would you get advice on parenting from someone who has never had kids? This book is merely a band-aid and offers no real help to hurting men. It causes men to open old wounds but offers not real answer to healing. This can be very dangerous. This book is simply a personal account from a seriously emotionally disturbed man.

65. Bird - 01/23/2004 6:26 am CST

What I have discovered is that people who allow their emotions to lead their lives love this book

Interesting. I don't know if I've ever thought about it in that way . . .

66. Quaid - 01/24/2004 7:52 am CST

Allowing your emotions to lead your life is unbiblical, isn't it? I am not sure. It seems, however, that you would mix emotion with ration according to the Bible and the Spirit to conform to what Christianity preaches.

Having written that, I think that there might be a post already on this subject. Anyone with direction, please respond.

67. Blight - 02/17/2004 5:38 pm CST

I have to say I am grateful you fellows have already played out the conversation that has been racing through my brain for the last two weeks. I began reading WAH in an effort to connect with the Mens fellowship at my new church. I was initially somewhat drawn to Eldridge's unorthodox approach of proclaiming "truths" about me from popular culture and the "totally groovy" version of the Bible in an effort to compel me to pursue my God. Frankly I have needed a kick in the pants lateley to get me off the curb and back down the narrow road. THere have been more personal challenges to my faith in the last year than I care to mention but through it all, God has been faithful to provide what I need when I need it. The division of Logic and Emotion however, was never clearer than when I arrived at chapter four. It was then I first began to question how well thought out this author was on his subject. I can't say that I am an expert at Church History, Greek or Hebrew. I don't hear God talking to me from the back of the Cocoa Krispies Box either. Still, I felt a check in my spirit when I read chapter four. My father did his level best to convey to me the truths he had learned from years of careful study of the Bible and "walking" with God. Whoever Bly is, he competely missed my experience. It may have been his blatant generalization of a "father wound" that spurred me to find out a bit more about Bly and Eldridge and Tozer etc. Typically, when I see people painting with a broad brush I think they are trying to cover more wall than there is paint for. There is a danger when we try to oversimplify something as complex and serious as our relationship with God. There is a greater danger when we decide to "follow our heart" and expect that will bring us closer to Him. Far from it. Steve, you sound like a very reasonable man, but I have a real concern anytime a teacher bends scripture. Even a little. If a verse doesn't exactly support the point trying to be made then I would suggest the point needs re-thinking. I am going to continue with this mens fellowship as it seems the people are more important than the quality of the book, however, I also know I am going to have to share my concerns with them. Please pray that God directs my words. If Eldridge intended me to find what makes me "come alive" I think it might be apologetics.

68. Bill - 02/18/2004 12:44 am CST

Typically, when I see people painting with a broad brush I think they are trying to cover more wall than there is paint for.

Very, very well said!

69. Dave - 02/21/2004 9:13 pm CST

Just discovered this web site tonight. I have read WAH about 3 or 4 times through, loved it initially, even tried to lead a men's group through the book and field manual twice. I asked a new friend if he would join my group. He researched WAH and presented me with 2 reviews (Rut Etheridge and Randy Stinson) that cover many areas already discussed above. I read half of this material, realized what an error I had made falling so quickly and heavily into the Eldridge fan club without researching enough and using the Scriptures as the standard. I made an emotional decision. I then discarded all of his books I had. I do agree he has valid points, but I can't justify biblically being an Eldridge follower at this point. Now I am just trying to read all reviews/information I can find to form a more theologically sound opinion/belief. I don't know who you guys are, but it is good to read other "regular guys'" takes on Eldridge's work. Thanks.

70. Shrode - 02/21/2004 10:03 pm CST

Welcome Dave. We have another long WAH discussion under "Is being Mr. Rogers bad?"

I'd love to hear more about your intellectual and emotional struggle after reading a book 3 or 4 times, loving it, leading it and then discovering its problems.

It's hard for us to change our minds, isn't it? A human thing I guess, but it seems to be instinctual for us to defend our own initial perspective.

Thinkling kudos to you for your intellectual honesty.

71. Shrode - 02/22/2004 12:59 am CST

Dave, I almost forgot, we have a whole CATEGORY for WAH. Go to left of site, and under "view posts by category", scroll down and select "Wild At Heart". We've got tons of stuff on it. What a resource the Thinklings are. So glad you found us.

72. DC James - 03/09/2004 1:36 pm CST

Here's a challenge for you: Find an atheist's rebuttal of WOH... I still can't find one.

As a hopeful fantasy writer, I cannot help but notice that the two biggest names in fantasy lit were J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis. Both of these guys were Christian! Who says fantasy lit is evil? It appeals directly to the heart!

Still, I would like to know how John would explain a pure heart...

73. Jamie - 04/14/2005 2:34 am CDT

Just bringing back the old point of "when to punch a bully"...

I think the author didn't feel a need to go into too much depth, this book is definitely NOT theology! To be honest I like that, I think the importance some people put to theology is theologically incorrect. Theology is usually taught by non-christians at uni, CS Lewis in defending theology against someone who says "Why not just walk the path" says "yeah you can walk the path but don't you get so much more out of the jounrey with a tour guide"...

The book is there to awaken something emotional within some guys... I've read some reviews complaining that the book has to much "pycobabble"... John Eldrige is a counsellor! You read a full-time counsellor's book and except no "pycobabble"... Its for a purpose...

Having said all this I do agree we should be constantly making sure our theology is in check... not because theology gets us into heaven or anything... but because messed up theology can totally mess people up (universalism has totally ruined a couple of my friend's faith, turning them into angry judgemental people)...

I think I'm partially agreeing with steve then. The review is good, I kind of picked this up whilst reading the book... we should be taking his theological statements with a pinch of salt... its not there for theology so we shouldn't treat it like that...

having said that it would be a shame for your review to make people not read the book! Lots of guys will totally be blessed by it...


Now the bullying thing... I think both of you (steve and bill) are right about this. I think the point that eldridge was making about "hitting the bully" was not, the bully deserved it... but his son came to him in tears, his son felt low, like he wasn't a man. He was telling him to go out there next time and prove himself a man...

However the other comment was "Jesus could retaliate. Beleive me." I'd say the next progression on that is actually the even more manly thing is to KNOW you could beat up the bully, to KNOW that you are a man, and then to turn the other cheek. With Jesus as the perfect example of manliness, on the cross suffering at the hands of those he created, knowing that at any moment he could wipe them all out and pull himself off the cross but submitting...

I don't think the bible is encouraging weakness... but instead encouraging weakness made strong through God... and encouraging meekness...

Also where do we draw the line? It says "honour your father and mother". Biblically I feel that the parents have been given god given authority over a child. Its the parents who can say, Hit back or son you are getting out of control, try letting the bully push you next time. Thats why we must honour our father and mother. Cause they are the only earthly people that can have any authority over us on those issues.

I found that since I realised all this for myself. When I first fought someone physically... I found that I needed to do this less and less, first I just needed to attack verbally back, then not at all. Now I can do street evangelism, be insulted by many people my age (I'm 17)... even had my trousers pulled down in the middle of the street. But now I can turn the other cheek, show compassion. But instead of walking all over me (Like I've seen them do to other christians). The guys friends (and eventually the guy himself) ended up respecting me, even hugging me and it opened up a lot more conversation...

I think eventually whatever happens you'll find the bible is right. True strength IS by turning the other cheek... by being so confident in yourself and your relationship with God that actually no one can really hurt you...

However I feel you get to that stage by growing closer to God... NOT by forcing your urges down... not by forcing yourself to back down in fear from every bully you see

74. Joe - 06/19/2005 3:48 pm CDT

Prov 20:5 NIV "The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters"

75. Taxkiller - 07/12/2005 11:36 am CDT

I recently read through the Wingerd critique of WAH and was very challenged to say the least. I have probably given away 24-26 copies of this book. What bothers me is that this smaks of let others better equipped and more theologically correct do the thinking for you. The fact is Eldredge is a counselor not a theologian. I have many ideas on faith and what it means to live as a Christian Man and I am very sure that I would rather not share them if I knew Daryl et al were ever ready to pounce upon whatever brainchild I have and chew it to pieces for what it is not instead of at least trying to get the idea I was trying to express.
Eldredge has written books that are helpful to me but in no way replace my study of scripture or praylife. I read the Davinci Code as well as Devils and Angels by Dan Brown and while they make entertaining reading it is only foolish or weak minded people who have done little reading of their own who see his work as a judgement upon the state of faith today. Wow! You mean to tell me there are these other Gospels.
My point is that a thinking Christian can read anything including the Book of Mormon or the Qaran and if that Thinking Christian is a devout and faithful person who prays and reads the Bible as the source of life then he has nothing to fear. God help us from those who are so fearful of others being able to think for themselves.

76. De - 07/12/2005 11:52 am CDT

"God help us from those who are so fearful of others being able to think for themselves."

Thanks TaxKiller.

I'm not afraid of anyone thinking for themself. Just trying to help. Doctrine is important. It's important for publishing houses, authors, teachers, counselors who represent Christ to do their best to, well, represent Christ. Accurately. Not perfectly (who does?). I'm glad WAH helped you - obviously a lot if you've given out 20+ copies. I thought it had some not insignificant problems.

I've been taken to task a lot for my take on WAH (and, for some reason, it always ends up boiling down to someone accusing me of "being afraid") - I will say you were far better written than most.

77. Jane - 04/13/2006 8:52 pm CDT

Very good site, greate content !!

78. Halo - 04/13/2006 11:22 pm CDT

Hello all! Very nice site and very informativity!

79. Sasha - 04/15/2006 8:54 am CDT

It is healthy, I shall come on your site more often, thank.

80. LS - 02/17/2007 3:26 pm CST

Great encouragement to hold everything up to Scripture for truth... I found WAH troubling and considered false teachers or counselors in the same boat...
Keep up the good work

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