"As they passed the rows of houses they saw through the open doors that men were sweeping and dusting and washing dishes, while the women sat around in groups, gossiping and laughing.
"What has happened?" the Scarecrow asked a sad-looking man with a bushy beard, who wore an apron and was wheeling a baby-carriage along the sidewalk.
"Why, we've had a revolution, your Majesty -- as you ought to know very well," replied the man; "and since you went away the women have been running things to suit themselves. I'm glad you have decided to come back and restore order, for doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City."
"Hm!" said the Scarecrow, thoughtfully. "If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?"
"I really do not know," replied the man, with a deep sigh. "Perhaps the women are made of cast-iron.""
- L. Frank Baum, "The Land of Oz"
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My wife just told me that one of her many theories in life is that a woman is either a cook or a cleaner. I guess she's speaking mainly about women who are married with kids, but I'm assuming the idea can be transferred to any woman out there. (With regard to men, she didn't offer a theory, but my anecdotal observations of men, including myself, would lead me to believe that 90 percent or more of men are not cooks or cleaners. In other words, we don't mind living in grungy apartments and eating fast food.)
Her theory is that as a young woman a gal gravitates toward either a joy in cooking or a joy in cleaning, and that's what a girl tends to focus on as she becomes a woman with a family. In rare instances a woman can also be neither one of those options or both, but the vast majority of women are either cooks or cleaners.
My wife admits she's a cook. She hires a gal to help her clean the house every couple of weeks, and she does keep the place pretty tidy, but she's not a compulsive cleaner who feels a need to have everything spick-and-span all the time. On the other hand she's an amazing cook and she can make the tastiest food that just explodes with flavor in your mouth. She's right; she's definitely a cook.
What do you all think of her theory?
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Comments on "Gals, Do You Cook Or Clean? ":
3. Crossbow
- 06/03/2009 9:32 pm CDT
I would agree. My wife hates cleaning, but loves to cook. Strangely, I hate to cook, but don't mind cleaning up. The bad news for me is that we always eat well, but the house... not always so clean :)
4. Quaid
- 06/03/2009 10:49 pm CDT
My wife prefers to never cook, if she can help it. On the other hand, she loves to clean. So, the theory pans out in this case.
It all works out for us ok since I like to cook, when I can.
Still - as you mention - I can take fast food and clutter any day. (but I prefer not to live in grossness)
5. gretchen from lifenut
- 06/04/2009 7:55 am CDT
I go through phases, but have noticed a pattern. If I am generally dissatisfied, pessimistic, or feeling down, I clean. I usually feel better when I'm done.
If I am content, happy, and optimistic I cook nice dinners and bake brownies and cupcakes.
I always love doing laundry, though. Really. Laundry transcends moods.
7. David
- 06/04/2009 8:01 am CDT
My wife does both. I'm not sure she "likes" either, but she is good at both of them and also feels a sense of satisfaction I think after they are done. I think if she had to pick something she likes though she would say yard work. (Am I one of the luckiest guys in the world or what??!!) :)
8. dani
- 06/04/2009 8:36 am CDT
I don’t really consider myself a cook or a cleaner either. I do both because I believe in eating frugally (which is very hard to do if you don’t cook),and in having a pleasant home (that I’m not embarrassed to open the door of), and primarily because when things are cluttered I can’t function. Mark is the same way – he claims he is ADD and can’t function when there is a lot of mess or chaos. He doesn’t really help me clean (and that is fine because I consider cleaning my job since I am home and he is not). I think he would clean if he were on his own. He claims that he keeps his desk at work really ordered. The only thing he cooks is Saturday morning breakfast, grilled stuff, and the Thanksgiving turkey. :)
I do not hire anyone to help me. I just can't justify the expense. I often think that I would like someone to come and deep clean my showers, dust my blinds, etc. as I don't always have time for that, but lately I've been flying with the Flylady and doing that has made a huge difference in helping me find time to get to the extras. It is hard to find time for everything.
For those of you who don't know - I'm married to Blo and we have 5 children. I stay home and we home school. Mark is very busy with work and church so I try to do as much around the house as possible to lighten his load.
If I had my druthers, I'd much rather be playing with the kids or reading than cooking or cleaning. I do my very best to spend as little time as possible on either cooking or cleaning. Overall I think Brandi’s theory is right, but I think that if you were to poll young wives/wives to be you would find that most of them don't know how to cook or clean and really could care less about either one. I think you would also find that they expect hubby or future hubby to be doing as much or more work than they themselves do.
9. jen
- 06/04/2009 8:49 am CDT
I'm a cook for sure - the culinary school loan payments bear that out. I loathe cleaning.
My mother is both, although more heavily prefers cooking over cleaning. She is a total neat freak, though.
My sister is neither. And that's all I'll say about that.
10. Val
- 06/04/2009 9:29 am CDT
I am married and but HAVE to work:( outside the home.
I love to cook and clean. Since I was eight years old I have always wanted to be married and voluteeer at church. I am not an extraordinary neat-nik, but I love everything clean and orderly. I just don't have enough time at home. I have NEVER been interested in doing anything but being a housewife and being able to keep things neat and cook real meals and sew. Those are productive things that are worth getting up for. I also love hanging out the laundry. My husband even put a clothes line up in his yard for me before we got married.
11. Jared
- 06/04/2009 9:33 am CDT
Becky's both a cook and a cleaner. It's pretty safe to say she prefers cooking (and she's an awesome cook with the added bonus of the gift for hospitality), but she doesn't dislike cleaning. Meaning, she prefers and is known among friends and family for her cooking, but not because she doesn't like cleaning. I don't think she'd fall into the dichotomy "You like to cook and dislike to clean or you like to clean and dislike to cook."
12. Bob Sacamento
- 06/04/2009 9:38 am CDT
I like to leave my present-day family out of my internet discussions.
But my mom is an exception to your theory. She kept the house in good order and cooked good, nutritious meals. But her approach to both was very workmanlike (workwomanlike? workpersonlike?). She did everything that truly needed to be done in both, and never tried to be a neat freak nor a five star grade chef. She took Erma Bombeck's maxim, "Read more and clean less," to heart, particularly in her later years. Honestly, I think there would be many more happy women, and more happy families, if more women would do the same.
13. Bird
- 06/04/2009 9:51 am CDT
I should add that what she means by a woman being a cook or a cleaner is what the woman is a natural at, not what she does because she has to. She mentioned this morning that if you're the sort of gal who just gets up at any random moment and starts cleaning, then you're probably a cleaner. :-)
14. brandontmilan
- 06/04/2009 1:04 pm CDT
I bet if she refined this theory a little bit and found some personality traits/living habits that correlated she could write and sell a whole bunch of books. Maybe she could be on Oprah.
15. Anne
- 06/04/2009 11:10 pm CDT
I'm definitely a cook. Love that kitchen, love trying new things, love it when people want seconds. Cleaning? Eh, I'll keep the house passable but I'm not enthusiastic about it.
16. jenn
- 06/05/2009 10:58 am CDT
Okay - I'll be honest and say that I go through spurts of enjoying neither! I know it's a privilege to have a house to clean, and a family to feed, and to be able to stay at home and do those things instead of having to work...but sometimes the messy person in me that likes to eat Chinese take-out wins. :o)
If I had to pick one, I'd say that it would have to be cooking. The reason I don't cook more is I don't like to clean up afterward...all I need is a sous chef, and I think it would be a much more enjoyable experience.
And now you can all say a prayer for my sweet husband. Heaven knows he deserves a medal for putting up with me. :o)
17. The Ancient Mariner
- 06/05/2009 11:27 am CDT
On the whole, I'd say my experience bears this out--it's not a hard-and-fast rule, but it seems to be as true as any generalization ever is.
18. Milly
- 06/06/2009 6:29 pm CDT
Golly I love both.
(I'm single dudes. :-)
Ok truth is I don't mind doing those chores but I want a helpmate who helps. I work outside the home and take care of two kids. I have very little time.
19. Manders
- 06/07/2009 1:39 am CDT
I'm the daughter of a dad who cooked and a mom who cleaned--I take after my mom. Sort of. She's much more hardcore about it than I am, haha. I think I may be more into organizing than cleaning, but I actually take pleasure in cleaning toilets, if you can believe that.
21. judy
- 06/15/2009 9:44 am CDT
Neither.
Although I don't mind vacuuming.
I like to make stuff, take pictures of it, and post it on my blog.
We eat out a lot and my house is 'relatively' clean, which means it's clean enough for relatives.
Leave a Comment:
I'm neither. I hate cooking and cleaning.
I know. My poor family.
I cook because I have to in order to not be accused of child abuse. The state tends to look down on people that don't feed their children. Plus, I CAN cook. I just don't like to.
And I clean because I have to. But my house is only clean underneath - clutter on the surface because I refuse to be nasty, but don't mind messy.
Ironically, I am a stay at home mom. Seems I should love both. But no, I just love my kids and didn't want them spending more time with someone else than me. I'd much rather play than cook or clean.
On the up side, my husband likes to cook.